


Wanderlust and Consequences part 1

by BettyHT



Series: Wanderlust and Consequences [1]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 07:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 48,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15747081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: The story starts as a prequel with Ben and Inger and young Adam and continues through Ben's marriage to Marie before skipping ahead sixteen years when Adam and Hop Sing travel to follow quests before returning.  There will be a character who returns to the family too and brings changes especially to Ben's life.  There are romances, marriages, children, adventure, drama, and a host of other things that happen in this novel length story posted in three parts because of restrictions on posting on this site.





	Wanderlust and Consequences part 1

Wanderlust and Consequences

Chapter 1 prequel

Laying as still as he could to limit the pain in his backside and in his ribs, Adam Cartwright felt an emotional pain that was almost too much to bear. He tried so hard to be the son his father could be so proud of but no matter what he did, it seemed it was the wrong thing to do. He had told his father he didn't steal that pie from Mrs. Chambers. When his father saw the stain on his shirt, he told him he had lied and that would double the punishment. He tried to tell his father that the stain came from those Morgan boys and their friends but Pa wasn't listening. He had found his father seldom listened when he was angry. Adam didn't understand how that happened but had experienced it a number of times. Those Morgans had thrown him up against a wagon wheel when he had walked up to them when they were eating a pie. He had innocently asked where they had gotten a whole pie, and they had whirled on him in anger.

"Don't you say nothing, Cartwright. Ifn you do, you'll get a lot worse than this, and maybe your ma will get some too. You wouldn't want her to fall down and get hurt real bad, now wouldja?"

"I won't tell, I promise. Just don't hurt my Ma."

Those boys had laughed and hit Adam, and that's when he had balled up his fists and hit back. They were so surprised by that action that they had released him, and that was all he needed. He had run from them back to his wagon. By then, Mrs. Chambers was talking to his Pa. When his father finished talking with Mrs. Chambers, he had questioned his son, but he had that look that said he already knew the answers he wanted to hear. Adam didn't give him those answers, and that's when his father got very angry. Then he had noticed Adam's shirt was torn and pulled up his son's hands and saw that he had been fighting. Adam tried to explain that too but it did no more good than his trying to explain about the pie. After he was punished, he was told to go lie down for the night without any dinner. He wasn't that hungry any more by then anyway, but he was very thirsty. He asked if he could have some water, and his father had glowered at him until he pulled his bed roll from the wagon and placed it underneath the wagon where he usually slept. He pulled a blanket over himself and waited. He expected his Ma back at any time and hoped she would let him have something to drink.

"You punished him, but now you wish to deny him nourishment. That is not fair. He is already too thin. I will bring some food to him."

"You would undermine my authority with my son that way."

"No, you can decide to tell me that it is all right to feed our son."

"Oh, go ahead then. You're going to do it anyway. He probably isn't hungry anyway if he ate a whole pie!"

Shaking her head at her husband, Inger had filled a small bowl with stew and walked to the opposite side of the wagon. She thought that Adam probably had moved as far away from his father as he could because of what had happened. Kneeling down next to her dark haired son, she set the bowl of stew between them.

"Adam, son, I have some dinner for you."

"Ma, I'm not very hungry."

"Is it true then, that you took that pie and ate it?"

"No, Ma, I wouldn't lie to Pa. I didn't take that pie."

"Adam, tell me, how did you get that stain on your shirt then?"

Looking at his Ma, Adam could feel the tears coming. He thought now that she didn't believe him either. He tried to roll over to turn his face away, but Inger wouldn't let him. She took a firm grip on his arm and made him stay close to her.

"Adam, tell me what happened."

"I can't."

"Son, of course you can. Did you try to tell your father?" At Adam's slight nod, she continued. "Then you can tell me. If you trust me, then tell me because I trust you, and I know you will only tell me the truth."

"They said they would hurt you if I told."

"Who told you that?"

Not at all sure any more what he should do, the tears did start to roll down the little boy's cheeks. Inger reached out to pull him to her. She moved the bowl of stew out of the way, and pulled the crying child into her arms.

"Adam, tell me. You know that we will find out eventually. Your father will protect me, and no one will hurt me, but we must know the truth."

Hesitantly and with a quaver in his voice, Adam told her of walking past the Chambers wagon after coming back from the grove of trees near them, and of seeing the boys eating a pie. They had threatened him and hit him, and he hit them only enough to get away. Then he started sobbing when he talked about trying to tell his father who had accused him instead of lying. Inger's temper rose quite a bit at that point. She soothed her son, and then got him to eat the small bowl of stew. He asked for water, and she got him some. He asked for more, and she felt his forehead and that truly dismayed her. Adam had a slight fever. She asked what he was doing in the grove of trees and could tell he was embarrassed and didn't want to tell her.

"You have said you never lie to me. Now not telling what you know is a way of lying too. It is a lie of omission. Now please tell me why you were in those trees."

"I had to go. A lot. It took a long time cause I had to go so many times."

"Is your stomach upset?"

"No, just down lower."

"You need to rest then. I'll be back later with more water. You may hear some loud talk between me and your father. Try not to let it upset you. Sometimes it is the only way to talk with your father."

Purposefully, Inger stood and walked to the Chambers wagon to ask exactly what Mrs. Chambers had seen. Then she walked back to where Ben sat on the other side of the wagon. She was sure that Adam's soft voice and her responses had not been heard by him over all the noises of the camp in the evening. He looked up at her from where he sat, and she could see that he wasn't ready yet to listen so she decided to lay it all on him at once to shake that self-righteous conviction he had that could be so infuriating some times.

"You punished Adam for stealing and accused him of lying and punished him for that too. You never gave the boy a chance to explain. Then you punished him for fighting and again never let him explain. Well I have talked with Mrs. Chambers. She never saw Adam take that pie. She saw him walking by and when the pie was gone, she assumed he took it. The boys who took that pie threatened our son and hit him to scare him so he would not tell anyone who took that pie. You punished him for defending himself. Now he is ill. Will you punish him for that too? You expect too much of him. You want him to be perfect. No one is perfect. Let me tell you, if I was looking for a perfect husband, I would not have married you."

"I can't believe you're saying these things to me. I thought you loved me."

"I do love you, more than life itself, but I love our son too. He is very hurt and it is much more than the physical pain he is in."

"I'll apologize to him. I'll be sure he knows how sorry I am."

"And the next time? He needs your love more than your discipline. What kind of man will he grow into if he feels he must be perfect in all that he does? He will never be happy. He will never find contentment. Is that what you wish for him?"

"Of course not. But Adam is a stubborn boy too and requires a firm hand."

"A firm hand can be a guide or a force. Which one will you be?"

"I have tried to guide him, but it is all so difficult. There are so many dangers out here, and there isn't time to explain each one every time. Adam has to learn to obey without questioning."

"He is already too old. He's only a five year old boy but seems to be more than twice that. He worries that you do not have money, that we will not have enough food. He's concerned over his lack of education and worries constantly that we will not find a place to make a home and that we will wander forever as you have been doing for years. He has no idea what a home is, and I worry that he won't ever be able to put down roots and stay in one place."

"Inger, I promise you we will have a home. Adam will get to be a child and play and have fun. You'll be there to help him while I'm working at building our place. I'm looking forward to settling down and having a place to call home too."

"Well, when this baby arrives, I want you to know I expect you will treat him always with love and kindness so that he can grow into a man with a sweet and gentle soul."

"Of course, of course, ah, what? What baby? You're having a baby? We're having a baby?"

"I thought you knew this afternoon when I fell after helping to push the wagon."

"Well I did think so, but you said nothing more, and I assumed I must have been mistaken."

Ben grabbed Inger in a hug and a kiss then. He called to Adam to come join them. Adam didn't know what had changed and actually preferred where he was for the time being. When Adam didn't join them, Ben looked under the wagon and saw his son with his eyes closed. He walked to the back of the wagon and reached out a hand to touch his son's forehead. He was warm but not too much. A bit relieved at least by that, he walked back to Inger and they talked into the night about the expected arrival of a baby.

Gradually, hearing the murmuring of his parents' voices, Adam drifted off to sleep. The next morning, he slipped out of his sleeping roll and headed into the trees to relieve himself. Dinner had gone right through him. He felt weak and slightly nauseous, but went to collect firewood that was his morning chore nearly every day. He heard his name being called and hurried as fast as his sore backside permitted. He tripped and dropped the firewood he had collected, and in rushing to pick it up so he wouldn't get yelled at for not responding quickly enough, he dropped it all again. He was picking it all up once more when he saw his father's boots come into his field of vision. He did his best to pick the wood up but tears were starting to form in his eyes blurring his vision. When he felt his father's hand on his shoulder, he couldn't help it and he flinched. Ben felt the shudder that passed through his son just from his touch, and knew right then that Inger was correct. Adam was more afraid of him than anything else.

"Adam, Adam, you have nothing to worry about. Dropping the firewood is not a problem. Come here son." Ben wrapped his arms around his son and pulled him close. "I am so sorry about yesterday. There is no excuse for the way I acted, and you have every right to be angry with me."

That was very confusing to Adam. He had never thought to hear his father say something like that. Oh, he wanted him to say that a number of times, but had never expected him to actually say those words. He didn't know what to say.

"Your Ma gave me a good talking to last night. She gave me a pretty hard time, and I deserved it. I've been forgetting why we're out here. It's to build a dream for my family. I can't do that and hurt my family at the same time. Now, can you forgive me for what I did, and give me another chance? You know, I've never been a father before, and apparently there's a lot I have to learn."

"Pa, I was never a son before. I guess I have a lot to learn too."

Ben started laughing then, and picked up the firewood. "Come on now. Your Ma has been fixing up a special treat for breakfast. She remembered that it's your birthday today. So we get to have flapjacks for breakfast and use some of that maple syrup she's got stashed away with her special treats."

That evening, there was cake to celebrate Adam's birthday. He had felt better and better as the day went on. He was able to relax and the stress he had been feeling was gone. For dinner, there was extra bacon in the beans and apple cider to drink. There were no presents because there was no place to purchase even the smallest item. However Adam was as happy as he could remember except perhaps when he had found out that Inger would be his mother. That had meant that he slept under the wagon by himself at night because Inger took his spot next to his father in the wagon at night. It had been a small price to pay to have a mother to love and who loved him. Adam got hugs from Inger every day. Inger encouraged Ben to hug his son as well. On this birthday though Adam got to ride on the seat of the wagon with his father as Inger reclined in the back. She had placed a pillow on the seat for him, and his father wrapped his arm around him several times that day. Eating his cake that night, Adam could only grin.

Chapter 2

Holding his hands over his ears, Adam tried to fight down his fear. Inger had screamed so loudly several times that he was sure something terrible had happened. No one else seemed overly concerned. They told him to be a good boy and sit quietly. That morning, Ben Cartwright had gone off with a hunting party to resupply the wagon train with fresh meat, and Adam fervently wished that he would come back very soon. Adam did sit out of the way and wondered what had happened. After many hours had passed ever so slowly for the young boy, he heard a baby wailing, and it seemed to be coming from their wagon. He couldn't understand that at all because he had not seen anyone go into their wagon with a baby.

Finally, in late afternoon, Ben returned from a successful hunt. Mrs. Chambers immediately went to him and they talked quietly but rapidly. Then Adam watched as his father rushed by him and climbed into the wagon. Ben had not noticed Adam sitting so forlornly next to their wagon. There was more talk in the wagon but Adam could not understand what the low voices were saying. Another woman climbed out of the wagon carrying a sheet bundle. Even more terrified by that sight, Adam felt his heart begin to pound when he saw the sheet was bloodstained. He had not known that Inger was hurt, and tears rolled down his cheeks. He wanted to run and hide so no one would see him cry, but then he heard his name being called. His father wanted him to get into the wagon it seemed, but he stood frozen unwilling to see what he thought must be a ghastly sight.

"Adam, come into the wagon, son. Inger wants to show you something."

"Ma! Ma's alive?"

"Well, of course she is, son. Women don't die when they have a baby." But a cloud passed over Ben's face. Adam thought he knew why too because he had overheard his father tell more than one person that Adam's mother had died at his birth, but Adam was also rapidly processing that his Ma was all right. Ben quickly recovered his full smile though and held the canvas flap aside as Adam climbed into the wagon. What Adam had failed to fully process was that Inger had had a baby. He stood in shock seeing Inger holding a baby wrapped in a soft blanket.

"Where did that come from?"

"Son, your mother had a baby. You have a little brother now."

"He's bigger than the other babies on the wagon train. Where did you get him, Ma?"

"Ah, that is a question you need to ask your father sometime." Inger chuckled a little then at the grimace her husband had in response to her statement. "Come closer, Adam, and greet your little brother, Eric."

"How did he get that name?"

"Your Pa and I discussed it, and we decided we liked that name."

"Didn't you tell Uncle Gunnar that you would call a son 'Hoss'?"

"we can't christen a baby with a name like that."

"Well, I'm going to call him Hoss. He looks like a Hoss not an Eric."

"Adam, mind your manners with your mother."

Recognizing that tone, Adam was immediately silent before saying he was sorry. Inger sighed deeply and audibly, and Ben frowned but then smiled. The longer he was married to Inger, the better he was doing as a father and as a husband. He wrapped an arm around Adam.

"Do you want to hold your brother?"

A little worried but even more intrigued by the idea, Adam moved closer to Inger. Ben picked up the tiny bundle that was Hoss and placed him on Adam's lap showing Adam how to use his arm to support the baby's head. Grinning, Adam looked to his father to his mother and back to Hoss. A year earlier, he would not have imagined being this happy.

"Pa, we better get to that land you want. Four of us just won't fit in this wagon."

"We're getting close, son, but I need to find some work. Next spring we're going to finish this long journey and get to that land."

Because Inger wanted to try nursing, Ben escorted Adam from the wagon. He was overjoyed to find that there was fresh meat with potatoes and onion cooking in their stewpot over their fire. Ben couldn't stop smiling, but Adam had a question.

"So, Pa, Ma said you could tell me where she got the baby."

With a deep sigh and then another, Ben tried to buy some time. He had hoped Adam would forget to ask, but the look of curiosity he had proved that wasn't going to happen. Ben was thinking those earlier questions about why the sky was blue and where stars came from were a piece of cake compared to this one. Finally, he tried.

"Well, when a man and a woman, are married first though, want a baby, they hug and kiss and are very nice to each other, then the mama gets a baby."

"So you and Mama did that? Where did you do that?"

"Well, every night we hug and kiss before we go to sleep."

"So you and Mama made a baby in the wagon?"

"Um, yes, well we did, but people don't usually talk about that."

"Why not?"

"Making a baby is a very private thing that a husband and wife do."

"Is that why Mama was hiding that baby until today?"

"Oh, Adam, she wasn't hiding the baby. It was inside her." As soon as those words left his lips, Ben wanted to pull them back. Adam was staring at him wide eyed and incredulous.

"Where?"

Sweating now even though the evening was cool, Ben grabbed two plates to serve up some stew. His son was far too patient and his memory too good for Ben to think that he would forget what he had asked. Ben was furiously thinking about how to explain it all, and finally decided that the truth was the only way to go. "He was in your mother's tummy. You remember when the Chambers' cow gave birth don't you, and that calf came out of the mother. You talked about that for days. Well that's how Eric came out of your mother. That's how you were born too."

Almost praying than that Adam would not ask how the baby got in there, Ben turned to hand his son a plate of stew. He saw that his son had a look of dismay on his face as he processed that information. Adam was silent as he ate and then asked to be excused. Ben was relieved. He wouldn't have to deal with any more difficult questions for a while at least it seemed for Adam was focused in on that last bit of information. Adam went behind some trees and took care of his business. As he emerged from the shadows of the trees, he was confronted again by the Morgan brothers, older than he was and downright disagreeable.

"So, your ma had that baby. Now I suppose that wagon will be rocking again."

"Why would that make the wagon rock?"

"Well cause your pa can start poking your ma again, that's why. Or are you too stupid to know how she got that baby."

"My Pa told me how they got him." And Adam proceeded to tell them what his father had told him. The Morgan brothers were laughing hysterically by the time he finished his short version. Then they filled him in on the exact way a baby got inside a mother. Adam couldn't believe what they were saying. Once they had finished, they laughed again and told him to go talk to his pa again.

Walking back to the wagon, Adam was thinking about all that he had learned. He wondered if his father had lied to him, or if the way he said things was because Adam was so young he didn't think he would understand. Then again, he wondered if the Morgan brothers had lied for they were well known for lying, stealing, and cheating as well as general ruffians. When Adam got back to the wagon, Ben noticed how serious and even worried he looked. He thought perhaps he had told him too much earlier and felt a bit guilty. It was days later before he found out why Adam had that look.

The following day, walking behind the wagon, Adam could see Inger holding Hoss and nursing him. It was another wonder he had wondering how she could be feeding that baby by holding him to her chest with a blanket over him and her. He knew that there had to be an explanation and was thinking about not much else. Several times he had dropped things or bumped into things as he was thinking, and his father had reprimanded him to keep his mind on what he was doing. Each time that happened, Adam would see a disapproving look on his Ma's face. He wondered what she was thinking when she did that for he didn't know whether the frown was for him or for his father. Inger was very good about talking with them privately when she had a concern. Adam waited each day and there was no talk so he assumed it was his father who had done something of which she disapproved, but he didn't know what it was. Inside the wagon, there had been a number of conversations.

"Our son is very curious, and that is just one sign of how intelligent he is. By trying to discourage him from thinking and dreaming, you are discouraging the development of his mind."

"His mind isn't going to do him much good if he can't take care of himself. There are a lot of things out here to worry about, and he's got his mind on other things far too often."

"Ben, don't you remember what it was like to be a child? He's only six years old. You always seem to expect him to act much older. He's very smart and can do that sometimes, but he's too young to be pushed so hard."

"Adam seems to be a happy boy. I don't know why you worry so much about him."

"I worry because I see how he looks at you when you're not looking at him. He fears you too much, and he doesn't trust you enough."

"A boy needs to have some fear of authority. He needs to know there are rules to follow and consequences when those rules are broken."

"Yes, but Ben, there has to be some balance too. A boy should be able to have some fun without looking over his shoulder worrying if his father will disapprove. He's going to start hiding things from you. He'll keep things to himself because he's not willing to risk your displeasure by discussing them with you. Is that what you want?"

"How do you know so much about this?"

"My father was like that, always waiting for some bad behavior he could punish. Gunnar is the result because he was the one most often who got caught."

"And you?"

"I was better at hiding what I did." Inger had a bit of a smirk then, and Ben had to smile.

"I'll talk to Adam when I get a chance and try to find out what's been on his mind and distracting him so much."

"Thank you. You're a good father."

"With your help. I love you so much. You have made my life complete, and we have such a wonderful family now. Next spring when we head to our home, we can talk about what kind of house you want."

"Did you know Adam has some ideas about that? He's been reading some books and the illustrations gave him ideas."

"He's reading books by himself?"

"Oh yes, the others on the train have been loaning books to him, and he's been going through them as fast as he can. He has a thirst for knowledge that is amazing. He might even end up smarter than his father." Again Inger smiled, and Ben's heart melted. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have such a wonderful, intelligent wife.

That evening, Ben asked Adam to sit with him after dinner and chores had been completed.

"Adam, you have been very distracted lately. I would like you to tell me what's been on your mind."

Looking down at his feet, Adam didn't want to answer. He had watched two horses mating after they were corralled inside the wagons the day before. He knew when he saw it that the Morgan brothers had not been lying, but he had no idea how to broach this subject with his father.

"Son, you can tell me anything. I promise I won't be angry. I need to know what you're thinking though so we can work out this problem you've been having keeping your mind on what you're doing. It's a dangerous country out here, and people can get seriously hurt or even killed with even a small amount of carelessness or inattention. What do you say? Can you tell me, please?"

Embarrassed at what he had been thinking but wanting to please his father, Adam told Ben what the Morgan brothers had said to him, and what he had witnessed between the two horses. It hadn't been the first time that he had seen something like that but it was the first time he had an understanding of what they were doing. "So, Pa, did they tell me the truth?"

Ben was thinking that he was sure he didn't know this much when he was six years old, but had to admit that perhaps Inger was correct and this boy was even smarter than he had thought. "Yes, Adam, it is. I didn't explain all the details to you because I thought you were too young to know all about that, but if you wish, we can discuss it now." Adam nodded so Ben explained what happened between a man and a woman that he repeatedly said had to be married for that to happen. When they finished, Adam only had one thing to say.

"Pa, I'm never gonna do that."

"Oh, son, I think you'll change your mind on that someday."

"But, Pa, that's gotta hurt. I fell wrong a couple of weeks ago, and it hurt me there something fierce. I can't see that I would want to do anything like that at all."

Ben reassured him that he had many years before he had to be concerned about that. The two of them slept much better that night, and the next morning, Adam pulled out a sheet of paper that he had folded inside the book he was reading. He showed it to Ben who was amazed to find a drawing of a house. It was well drawn and reasonably to scale which was remarkable.

"See, Pa, we could build this first part and live in there, and then we could add on over here for a kitchen, and then over here for bedrooms upstairs. There's room for a bedroom here for you and Ma. Then there's a little space over here where Hoss and I can sleep."

"What would we use that space for later when we build bedrooms for you boys?"

"I don't know. What kind of rooms do people put in houses? I've never lived in a house so I don't know too much about that."

"Well it could be a parlor, or a sewing room, or even an office."

"See, Pa, you can see it too. We're gonna have a great house. All we need to do is get to that land."

"We're going to have a great house."

"Oh, Pa, you know it too. Can I go show Ma the house we're gonna build for her?"

"Going to build for her."

"Yes, Pa, thank you."

And Adam ran to show Inger the drawing of the house they would build with the office for his father when he got rich and powerful. Inger smiled at her son for he was starting to sound like he shared his father's dream.

Chapter 3

"He's such a charming boy. And your little one is so sweet, and smiles more than any baby I can remember ever seeing. With those beautiful blue eyes, it's like looking at the sun to see him."

Mrs. Joy Martin was sitting with Inger as they watched Adam play with Hoss in the grass that was beginning to look spring green. Ben was working for Mrs. Martin's husband as a freight hauler. This was where many of the wagons heading west passed through before they hit the other trails heading to Oregon, California, Nevada, or Utah. Most headed to Oregon but not all. Some were heading into the territories owned by Mexico because many of them did not believe they would be living under Mexican rule for long. And as far from Mexico City and any garrison of Mexican troops that there were, they pretty much just lived the way they wanted anyway. Joseph Martin was a fair man. He had two rooms in his barn that he let drivers use while they were working for him. Ben was the only one there, so he let the family use both rooms. One was for cooking and eating which was where the boys slept when Ben was there. The other room was a bedroom for Ben and Inger and where most of their possessions were stored while they lived here.

Hauling freight to Fort Hall in Idaho or going to get freight from as far away as Kansas had Ben on the road most days. The winter had been difficult, but March and April had been warm allowing much more ease of travel. Inger didn't fear so much now for her husband, and they were able to put away a sizeable amount of money from the work. Joy and Inger spent a lot of time sewing and Adam and Ben both had better clothing than they had had for years. Hoss had a good supply of gowns to wear too. Many days, Inger wished that these days could continue for a long time. It was relaxing to be a wife and mother without having to be a traveler and sometimes wagon driver too. Hoss had grown well and was a very healthy and happy baby. Adam had filled out some and wasn't so skinny although he was still slender. He worked hard to provide the firewood they needed and helped with barn chores too. But that still left time for reading, studying, playing, and talking. He was a much more verbal child than when Inger had first met him.

"I almost hate to think of leaving here. This is the first home those boys have known. Adam has become so much more joyous here. And I have so much time to spend with Hoss. He is such a sweet baby, and it has been just a pleasure to be able to hold him and play with him so much. These days pass so quickly. It seems only a short time ago I was laying in a wagon giving birth, and now he's almost ready to walk it seems."

"You know you're more than welcome to stay. Joseph has a hard time keeping drivers here, and there's always work to do."

"Don't you worry here about Indian attacks?"

"Not here. I do worry when Joe is on the road. Just like he told Ben though. Our wagons always carry extra to pay the Indians for crossing their lands. He says they ride down to the wagons real friendly like every time. They get the payment, and there's never any trouble."

"Perhaps it is the respect he gives them that is the main thing. He's is not taking from him as so many whites do out here."

"The real threat are Indian hunting parties that are moving through and don't know that. The biggest threat Joe had once was a party of Pawnee who chased his wagon. He tossed out enough stuff that they stopped to collect it which made it possible for him to get away. The tribes who live along the roads he uses don't ever act that way. Heard there was some trouble west of here though. People using the southern route to California been having some big problems."

"Like what?"

"Oh, you never hear exactly. Trains have been attacked though. Some whites killed some women and children of one to those tribes from the deserts, and they been fighting back. It'll calm down in time. Maybe you oughta delay leaving."

"No, we can't. Ben has his heart set on this year being the year we get to some land we can buy. He said we have to leave early enough to get some crops and a garden in as well as build a house and shelter for the animals."

"Well, I'll be praying for you and those two beautiful boys you got. The men should be home tonight. We'll make a big stew for dinner and some fresh baked bread. We'll have a little celebration of your traveling on then."

As expected the men arrived home with the wagons that night but much later than expected. Muddy roads had slowed their progress each day making for two very tired and grumpy drivers. Ben ate some stew that had been heating for hours awaiting his return and then rolled into bed for some sleep. He barely had a chance to say hello to his wife and children before exhaustion overwhelmed him. It delayed their departure for only a day though as Ben packed up the wagon the next day, and prepared to head out the following day. By then sunshine and wind had dried the mud and traveling was easier. Inger mentioned the Indian troubles that Joy had told her, but Ben said he had heard and seen nothing. They headed out with several other families going in the same direction.

The first few weeks that the group traveled west were uneventful. Their most serious problems were getting clean water and dealing with rain swollen creeks and muddy roads. Then as they got further from settlements and into Mexican territory, there were signs that there had been trouble recently. They found several burned out wagons and old corpses that were little more than bones. It appeared that all the dead were men making everyone wonder what had happened to the women and children who must have been on these wagons. There were metal tools and other evidence that this was a group headed west to farm so the assumption was that there must have been families traveling together as they were. That night the group took extra precautions, but for several days did not see any more evidence of trouble. They hoped it would remain that way. Ben thought he needed to explain things to Adam in case there was trouble. With his voice a bit tremulous because of the situation in which he had placed his family, Ben pulled Adam into a hug.

"Adam, I don't want to frighten you, and of course I know you will be, but there is the chance that there could be very serious trouble. Now if anything happens, the very first thing I want you to do, if you can, is to grab Hoss and hold him tight to you. The other thing you must do is to do exactly what Ma or I tell you to do and no questions. There isn't time in a dangerous situation to ask and answer questions. Do you understand?"

With eyes opened as wide as he could because of his worry, Adam nodded. He had known that things were very tense, but until this moment, he did not realize his father was scared. The most frightening thing he had ever experienced had happened with that one statement for he had never seen his father afraid of anything.

"Don't go away from the wagons for anything without one of us with you. That includes taking care of your business. I will go with you when you need to do that. I know that might be slightly embarrassing for you, but it is far better to be that than to be in danger."

Inger had been telling Ben that Adam behaved much better and was in a much better mood if rules and expectations were explained to him rather than just demanded of him. Ben had found that to be true, and his relationship with his son was getting stronger by the day. They talked of everything now and not just the questions that Adam asked although his questions still had a candor sometimes that caught Ben unprepared.

"I saw that calf that was born on the last train sucking at the momma cow. They told me that was how it got milk, and that's where our milk comes from. Is that how Ma feeds Hoss?"

"Ah, yes, Adam, that is how Ma feeds Hoss."

"Then who fed me cause you said my mother died when I was born?"

"How did you know that?"

"I heard you talking sometimes."

"Eavesdropping is not polite to do."

"Is it eavesdropping if I was laying in my bedroll, and you were sitting by the fire talking with some of the men?"

"Well, perhaps not, but you could have let me know that you were awake and listening."

"I didn't know that you were gonna talk about anything I wasn't supposed to hear."

"Going to talk about. No, I suppose that's true."

"So, anyway, who fed me?"

"Ah, I had to hire someone to do that for you. She was a very nice lady, and wanted to travel to Illinois to join some of her family there. She was supposed to join them after she had her baby, but her baby died. So she was available to help us."

"Do some women have more milk than others because I see some women, and they have very big ones, and other ladies only have little ones?"

Laughter erupted from the wagon then, and Ben knew that Inger was enjoying listening to this conversation way too much. He called back to her. "The rules on eavesdropping apply to wives as well!"

But Ben had a grin on his face by then so Adam wasn't worried that there would be an argument. He leaned back and grinned. He was starting to enjoy these conversations when he could leave his father nearly speechless and clearly uncomfortable. One of these days, he was going to ask his father about something he had seen down by the creek just a few days before. He was going to get some water and saw some of the women bathing. He had been fascinated, and wanted to ask his father why women did not have penises. He had wondered ever since he saw them how they went to take care of their business because he only knew one way to do that.

There would not be such an opportunity though for trouble started the next morning. A man came riding up to the small wagon train asking if he could travel with them. By noon, they were under attack by Indians. No one on the train knew enough to know what Indians they were and why they were so upset. They had the wagons pulled tightly together, but every man there knew that they would never be able to repulse the forces against them for very long. Crates and boxes had been pulled from wagons and used to erect barriers that were used to shield the children as even the women were wielding rifles or shotguns in defense of their families. It wasn't until after the attack that the travelers learned that the man who had joined them had assaulted and killed a woman from that tribe.

The attack on the wagons was ferocious and turned deadly when several of the warriors jumped their horses into the wagon enclosure. Ben yelled for Adam to get under the wagon with Hoss. Inger moved to block the view of her children by the attacking warriors and was stabbed by a lance which dropped her to the ground pinning her there as she was clutching her abdomen. Ben ran to her side, but she could only gasp out one thing.

"Save our children, Ben, save our children first."

"No, I can't leave you."

"Come back for me when the children are safe." Inger's eyes closed then as her body relaxed in unconsciousness or death for Ben couldn't tell at first. Placing his hand on her chest, he could not feel a heartbeat and couldn't see her breathing. All he could see was that lance that had penetrated her body and pinned her to the ground. He pushed himself to leave her side. Standing then, Ben shot one of the warriors at point blank range, grabbed Inger's shotgun, and killed another.

The attacking warriors did not stop, and all the surviving whites fled to some nearby ruins of someone's failed attempt to live in this land. Ben had grabbed Hoss from Adam and took Adam's hand leading his young son at a dead run. The warriors ceased their attack by late afternoon. The man who had joined them was killed. Unknown to the travelers, he had been the main objective of the warriors who converged on the area where they saw that man fall.

When the warriors rode off, Ben nearly ran to the wagons. He couldn't find Inger, but did see the large dark stain on the ground near their wagon. He dropped to his knees sobbing. A search by the travelers did not locate Inger's body, and one child was missing as well. They wondered what could have happened. Only the man who had joined them was still there but with his scalp missing and his body mutilated. Several men and one of the women were wounded and needed care. Ben sat by his wagon cradling Hoss with Adam leaning against him. He sobbed his grief as his sons cried. There were many in the camp who watched the scene and cried as well. The family who had lost a child sat in tears as well wondering where their beloved son had been taken. The night was very quiet. The stranger was buried, a cold meal was prepared, and damages were assessed and repaired as much as possible.

"Pa, where's Mama?" was the most difficult question Adam had ever asked his father. There was only one answer, and father and son cried again as they talked. They both did their best to soothe Hoss and did manage to get the baby to eat some mush. Traveling to follow a dream had lost a lot of its luster that day. But they did travel on and reached the Sierras in Nevada by June. They could have continued on to California, but the beauty of the land, its lush green forests, and mountain meadows seduced both Ben and Adam. Within weeks, Ben had purchased a large tract of land, planted an extensive garden using the seeds that Inger had packed for that purpose, and began felling trees to build a sturdy shelter for the winter. By the time Hoss was a year old, the family had a home and the dream was closer to reality, but the dream was not as pristine as it once was for it had cost them the wife and mother who had given the dream its heart and soul.

Chapter 4

"Stop that!" Ben Cartwright was incensed to see some men pushing a Chinese man around in a circle like they were playing a child's game. The small town that was growing on the side of Mount Davidson was drawing some rough men at times. The men moved off because they desired some fun and not trouble. The small Chinese man bowed to Ben and hurried away before anyone else could harm him. Adam was sitting on the wagon seat holding Hoss beside him and witnessed the whole event. The small Chinese man came to hide behind their wagon inciting Adam's curiosity.

"Hello, my name is Adam. This is my little brother Hoss. Do you live here?"

"No, no live anywhere. Come California on ship and now look for work."

"We just moved here last year. Do you want to work for us? Pa's had a hard time finding anyone to help us."

"I cook. I clean. I do laundry. You have work for Hop Sing?"

"Just ask my Pa. He's coming this way right now." As Ben strode to the wagon, Adam called out to him. "Pa, there's a man here who says he needs a job. Do you want to hire him?"

"Where is there a man? I can't see anyone."

Hop Sing walked out from behind the wagon then not afraid any longer because this was the man who had saved him earlier. "I cook. I clean. I do laundry. You have work for Hop Sing?"

About to say no, Ben reconsidered. Every day he used at least two to three hours getting his sons to a neighbor's place so he could go to work, and then retrieved them at the end of the day. In addition of course, he had to pay the neighbor for the service. If he hired someone to work in his home, his children could stay there saving him hours each day, and he wouldn't have to pay a neighbor. "I can't pay much. Once my ranch gets bigger and we have more money coming in, then I could pay more."

"How much you pay?"

"I can pay two dollars a week, and food, and a place to sleep. I'm paying two dollars a week to a neighbor now so that would be your pay. When I can pay you more, I will."

"Yes. I work for you. I ride in wagon or walk to your ranch?"

Chuckling Ben indicated the wagon would be fine. He went into the store to get the items he had asked for and loaded them in the back after paying for them. He saw that Hop Sing did not have a coat or a hat. "C'mon in the store. You're going to need more than what you're wearing. It gets mighty cold here." Once Hop Sing had a hat and a coat, they all got in the wagon and headed to the Cartwright ranch. When they got to the ranch well over an hour later, Hop Sing was surprised. There was a nice house, a stable, and a small corral and nothing else.

"Where you store food? Where you raise chickens and pigs?"

"I don't have much to store yet. The garden was overrun by varmints again this year, and I don't have any chickens or pigs yet. I do have cattle, and I hunt for fresh meat for the table."

"I do gardening too. You buy chickens?"

"If you know how to take care of them, I'll get some. I never raised chickens before and have no idea what to do with them."

"You get chickens, pigs, and cow, and I take care of them."

This was sounding better and better to Ben as well as to Adam. The more Hop Sing talked, the more they liked the idea of expanding their immediate compound. Adam volunteered to help Hop Sing but Ben reminded him that his first responsibility was to watch over his little brother who was old enough to get into trouble and not old enough to understand what trouble was. Because Hop Sing was a man, Ben expected the cooking to be very basic and very similar to what he was able to prepare for his sons every day. Instead the first meal was beef and vegetable stew over mashed potatoes with biscuits and baked apples.

"Pa, this is the best food I ate since . . . " and then Adam's voice trailed off as he never finished the sentence. Ben knew what he meant though.

"It's all right, son. I miss her too. You've been a big help to me since then. Now we have more help so I hope you will have some time to play too. You and Hoss can play once you get your chores done each day."

"Pa, I can do more chores for you too because I'll be at home."

Ben nodded and they finished their meal. Then he went to the room they had intended to use as a small pantry to finish building the bed frame he had started earlier. Once that was finished, he and Adam pulled a mattress onto the bed and got an extra sheet and a blanket. Hop Sing was happy to have his own room even if it was small and spare.

Because Hop Sing was there freeing Ben for more ranch work, he was able to complete his fencing project before winter. With Hop Sing and Adam helping, they were able to cut lots of meadow grass, dry it, and fill the hay loft as well as stacking it outside for winter feed for the animals. Ben pulled loads of rocks to an area near the house to build a smokehouse, and framed up a chicken coop and a pig sty. By spring, they would be ready to raise chickens for eggs and pigs for pork, ham, and bacon. The smokehouse would be ready to smoke those hams and bacon as well as some beef for jerky. For the winter, Ben built a small chicken hutch inside the barn. Once Ben purchased canning supplies, Hop Sing canned as much from the garden as he could as well as a few bushels of apples from a neighbor who only wanted some of his own canned for payment. When the first snows hit, Ben felt far more secure than he had the previous winter when he wasn't at all sure they would have enough food.

Each year, Ben hired men to work for him, and a bunkhouse was added to the compound as well as a storage shed. One of the men suggested they ought to capture some of the wild horses roaming the hills. Once they had those, they expanded the corrals as well. Horses that were not needed for ranch work were sold. Ben's dream was coming true. There were disasters of course. Mudslides took out some fence lines. Storms washed out the hay crop one year. One winter was especially bad and at least half of the herd perished. But every year the ranch grew larger and more prosperous. Hop Sing learned more English, and taught Adam some Chinese. On Adam's ninth birthday, Ben told him that he had a surprise for him. Adam waited wondering what it could be for he had already received the gift of a pocketknife which his father told him he should carry with him always because he would never know when he might need it. His father also told him to carry a small tin of matches and a handkerchief every day as well. These were habits that Adam carried into adulthood. But he was intrigued at that moment by what his father had to say.

"Adam, you are nine years old now. You have been a great help to me in building this ranch and taking care of your brother. I want you to know that we will be adding on to the house. I have the men cutting enough logs to start building that second floor that you drew on the plan for this house three years ago. There will be a bedroom for you and one for Hoss."

"What about you, Pa?"

"The following year, if all goes well, we'll add more bedrooms. I'll get one of those. I already have a bedroom down here so you boys need to get bedrooms first."

"What about Hop Sing?"

"We added on to his room, added a washroom, and a pantry last year. I asked him, and except for wanting a new stove, he's happy with what he has."

"Pa, he does complain a lot about cooking using the Franklin stove and the fireplace. He sure does cook good though."

"He cooks well."

Adam nodded in appreciation of his father agreeing with him while ignoring the grammar lesson in the statement. Adam could speak basic Chinese phrases with Hop Sing, could read any book Ben had, and was learning arithmetic at an amazing rate. Ben hoped that the town would have a school soon because he knew that it wouldn't be long before he had exhausted most of what he could teach his son. He needed to learn more about writing and penmanship among other things that Ben did not feel qualified to teach. Ben also did not have the time to teach his son and run a big and growing ranch as well. There was going to be a meeting in town in the next week to discuss hiring a teacher and building a school. They were doing it in that order because there was no point to having a school if they could not entice a teacher to move to the little community in the mountains.

Within two months, a man answered the town's request to be their first teacher. Ben and a number of fathers in the community held a schoolhouse raising on a weekend. Once the basic structure was there, finishing work was begun, a fireplace was built, and a stove was installed. Families brought loads of firewood, and a necessary was constructed. By the time the teacher arrived, the school was ready. It still smelled of the pine logs that were its shell, but inside it was clean and as organized as any schoolroom in the country. On the first Monday in October, school opened with sixteen students from six through eleven years old. Adam was excited to go to school and Ben rode with him there the first day.

"Now, you mind your manners, and make sure you do everything that is asked of you."

"I will, Pa. I wanted to go to school for so long. This is a dream come true."

After showing Adam how to tie his pony for the day, and how to make sure he had food and water, Ben rode home. He had a good day of work, and waited to hear Adam's pony ride into the yard. Anxious to hear how his first day of school was, when Ben heard him ride in, he walked out to the stable to talk with his son. By the time he reached the stable, Adam was already unsaddling his pony. He was silent as Ben walked in and continued with his chores apparently waiting for Ben to open the conversation.

"Well, son, did you enjoy your first day of school?"

"Yes, Pa."

"What's wrong? Did you have a lot of work to do?"

"Yes, Pa."

"Adam, a dream can be a lot of work to achieve. If you thought that school was only going to be fun, then that wasn't realistic. School is hard work."

"Yes, Pa. May I be excused now? I have to clean up, and I have homework to do for tomorrow."

"Of course. Don't forget to spend a little time with Hoss. He missed you a lot today."

"I will, Pa. I missed him too."

Then Adam rushed to the house so his father wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. Each day was like that. Ben had thought that Adam would enjoy school more, but thought that perhaps he was so used to the freedom of the ranch that he was taking some time to get used to the discipline of the classroom. The next day, Ben was working at his desk when he heard a horse in the yard. When he got to the front door, he was surprised to see his new friend Roy Coffee leading Adam to the house. Roy had just been elected as a part-time sheriff in town, and Ben assumed that Adam had gotten in trouble.

"Now, Ben, I see that look you got, and afore you say anything, I hafta tell ya, this boy ain't done nothing wrong. I was riding near the school and seen him leading his horse. I give him a ride home, but as soon as I seen him, I knew there was more to this story."

Ashamed and hurting, Adam looked up at his father expecting condemnation and seeing only concern. Adam was holding a handkerchief to his mouth, and Ben asked why.

"Now, Ben, ya need to keep control of yourself. I'm a gonna handle this. Adam, show your pa."

When Adam lowered the bloody cloth, Ben could see that his lip was split, swollen, and bruised.

"Adam, were you fighting?"

"No, Pa." That was all Adam could say before he broke into tears. Ben reached out his arms to pull his son into an embrace.

"Roy, what happened?"

"Near as I can figure, the teacher hit him. Sounds like he backhanded him pretty hard. Ben, that ain't all of it, neither. Let's go inside."

Once inside, Roy had Adam go into Ben's bedroom. There he had him drop his trousers, and Ben and Roy saw welts and bruises across his backside and thighs.

"Oh, my God. Adam, who did this to you?" Adam couldn't talk. He started sobbing.

Looking at Roy, Ben waited for an explanation.

"Ben, when I offered to give your boy a ride, right off I got the explanation for the lip. But Ben when I pulled him up on my horse, he almost cried having to sit there. I took off my coat and had him sit on that. That's when I knew there was more to this. Now, you and me need to hear this from Adam. Then I want you to fill out a complaint. Now I see your face, and I know you want to take care of this yourself, but I gotta tell ya not to do that. These boys need you, and you sitting in jail for beating or even killing the schoolteacher ain't gonna be no good for these boys."

Slowly, Adam explained that the teacher had called him names from the first day because he knew the answers to every question the teacher had posed. So the teacher had gotten out a big history book and asked Adam questions. When he couldn't answer, he was told that he wasn't all that smart. Any infraction of the rules no matter how small, and no matter whether Adam actually did it or the teacher just thought it was him resulted in physical punishment at recess or after school. The other students stayed away from Adam afraid that any contact with him might cause them to get the same treatment.

"Adam, why didn't you tell me?"

"Pa, he said I was an embarrassment to my father, and brought shame on your house with my actions. I didn't want you to know."

"Why did he hit you in the face?"

"I was late to school cause my pony threw a shoe. He told me I had to stay after to make up the time, and I said I couldn't. Then he got mad cause he said I talked back to him. Pa, I couldn't. It takes me over an hour to get home and it's getting darker earlier. I didn't want to be riding in the dark and making you afraid."

All Ben could do then was to wrap an arm around his son to reassure him he was loved. By then Hop Sing who had seen the injury to Adam's lip was there with a poultice. Ben whispered to him about Adam's other injuries, and Hop Sing said he would draw a soothing bath for the boy. As Adam soaked, Ben wrote out a complaint against the schoolteacher. Roy promised to check with a few other students to corroborate the story, and then he would deal with the abuser.

"Now, you keep Adam home tomorrow, and maybe till the end of the week until this all gets settled out. I'll let you know what happens."

After Roy left, Ben went in the kitchen and pulled a chair up beside the tin tub where Adam was relaxing. The boy was holding the poultice to his lip, but leaning back against the end of the tub. Soothing smells of herbs and other things Ben couldn't identify wafted up from the warm water.

"Adam, I want you to tell me when things like this happen."

"I couldn't, Pa."

"Why couldn't you tell me? I'm your father. I love you, and I would have helped you."

"Pa, I couldn't have said it without crying. You told me when Ma died that I had to control my tears. I try, Pa, but sometimes it's so hard."

"Adam, that was a desperate time, and we had Hoss to take care of. He didn't understand at all why his mother was gone, and we had to control our tears so we could soothe him. I didn't mean for you to never cry. I only needed you to try to do that then."

"I didn't know that, Pa."

"Adam, I'm so sorry. So often I forget how young you are and how inexperienced. You're just a boy, but I have needed your help so many times. I'm so sorry that I have taken your childhood away from you."

"It's all right, Pa. We're building our dream, and I know you love me."

By the late afternoon of the next day, Ben received word that the schoolteacher had been fired and ordered to leave town. A delegation from the town was at Ben's house the day after that. Although a number of women in the town were going to teach for the rest of the school year with each of them teaching one day a week at most, a trained schoolteacher was needed. The leading citizens thought it would be a good idea for Ben to travel to one of the cities in the midsection of the country to find and hire a schoolteacher.

"Ben, Mary and I can take your boys in this winter if you like. Hop Sing and your hands can handle the winter work. We need you to do this for the town. You're the best educated man here except for the doctor but we can't spare him for the whole winter. You're the president of the school board so we think you oughta be the one to go."

After a lot of discussion, it was decided that Ben would go to New Orleans. St. Joseph and other cities along the Oregon and California Trails were unlikely to have anyone who would come to their small town. But New Orleans was a city that valued education, and the group thought that perhaps there would be someone there that Ben could convince to come to their small town to teach.

As Ben packed for the trip, he was actually a bit excited to be going no matter how much he let the school board think it was a huge imposition. Ben had always loved to travel, and now he would travel as a successful rancher. He packed his finest clothing and realized he would likely have to have some made while he was in New Orleans.

As much as Ben was excited, Adam was apprehensive. He had not been separated from his father for more than a week or two in his life, and that had been when his father was working as a teamster, and Inger had been there for him. To be without a parent for as many as five months was frightening to him. Doing his best not to show his worry, Adam sat on a chair in Ben's bedroom and watched him pack. Hoss was napping. Ben was going to drive them to Roy's home. The boys' stuff was already in the wagon. Hop Sing would bring the wagon back along with a load of supplies for the winter. The two permanent hands would handle caring for the stock and doing any maintenance they could during the winter.

The plans were made, and the tickets were purchased. Ben had a list of names already of potential teachers. He would meet with those candidates, hire one if he was found suitable, and if not, find other candidates for the position. Although it would not take five months to do that, the travel would take at least two months, and there was no return to the high Sierras in the middle of the winter. Trying to get through the snow in winter would be foolhardy. The plan was that Ben would stay in New Orleans until the end of February and then travel home hoping that the March weather would permit safe travel.

As Ben drove the wagon to town, he went through the list of things he wanted Hop Sing to do in his absence. Then he went through his expectations for Adam emphasizing that he needed to help care for Hoss and do his schoolwork. Adam would be able to get to school on all but the worst days now because the Coffees lived right at the edge of town. Mary had a garden and some animals and was looking forward to having Adam's help with the harvest and the care of the animals as her arthritis made it difficult to do even the simplest tasks. Adam and Mary got along very well so that wasn't going to be a problem.

Once Ben pulled up by the stage, Adam felt his resolve not to cry faltering. He played with Hoss and made faces to get the little boy to laugh, and that helped. Roy and Mary were there to see Ben off as were a number of school board members. Ben hugged each of the boys and told them how much he loved them. Then he climbed aboard the stage. Roy had his hand on Adam's shoulder and could feel the trembling as Adam tried to maintain his composure. As the stage pulled away, Mary distracted Hoss with a cookie. There was no distracting Adam though. He fought down the feeling of abandonment and turned to his little brother. Hop Sing offered to drive the family to the Coffee home that was on the way out of town for him. They accepted and all sat in the back of the wagon. Mary was talking about all the fun they would have, but Roy noted Adam's glistening eyes. He and Mary were going to have to give special attention to Adam who wanted to be so grown up and in many ways was older than his years. But at this moment, he was a nine-year-old boy who already missed his father.

Chapter 5

As the stage left Virginia City, Ben began reminiscing. He thought about Elizabeth who had challenged him and supported his dreams. When he had first courted her and learned how intelligent she was, he was intimidated a bit by her quest for knowledge, her quick wit, and her unwillingness to accept blind obedience to tradition. She had stimulated his mind as well as won his heart with her fiery passion. He came to admire her strong code of morality and ethics, and her willingness to stand beside him in anything. Unfortunately her body did not have the strength of her intellect. He had lost her but she had made him a man willing to give his all to pursue his dream. She had also given him a son who was very much like his mother in many regards.

Next Ben smiled as he thought of Inger. Fiercely protective of her family, Inger had taught Ben how to love and be loved. She was not satisfied with a New Englander's assumption that the people around him knew he loved them because he provided for them and worked as hard as possible. No, Inger had insisted that love be shown as love. Hugs and kisses were not something to be treasured and doled out in small payments. No, to Inger, love was to be showered on your family. Her philosophy was that the more love you gave, the more love you got, so give it all away.

Ben frowned then as he remembered Inger's death and the joy that was stolen from him that day. He tried to hide his sorrow from his sons but knew that Adam sensed that something was wrong. Unfortunately although Adam was mature well beyond his years, Ben could not confide to his oldest son that he was very lonely. Adam was still too young to understand a man's loneliness especially when he lay in that bed at night all alone. But Ben was very lonely and the more he had thought about this trip to New Orleans, the more he thought about all the young women there who did not yet have a husband. He was thinking that he had five months to find someone who would find him suitable as a husband.

As Ben traveled seeking to achieve two goals, Adam and Hoss settled in with the Coffees for the winter months. There was no snow yet but there was a chill in the air, and the nights were very cold. In the morning, the water troughs each had a thin sheet of ice on them. Later, Adam was told it would be his job each day to make sure the animals had water. Sometimes he would have to haul water from the kitchen pump. Adam also said he could do the job of providing firewood.

"Now, son, I know you do a lot of work, but it can be dangerous working with an axe and a saw."

"At home, I cut most of the firewood. Pa cuts down some of the big pieces that are too heavy for me, but I do all the rest. I don't mind, really."

Now it made more sense to Mary and Roy that Adam could be so slender and yet so strong. He worked harder than most boys his age. They agreed he could cut the firewood than which made Adam grin. He liked chopping firewood. He could think about things, and it was a good outlet for his emotions that he often found difficult to express. He did a lot of chores for Mary who began to wonder how she had managed without him.

Letters came regularly from Ben or as regularly as the weather and stagecoach problems allowed. Each time Roy would read the letter with Adam and was amazed as was Mary at the boy's vocabulary. Mary was resting one day and heard Adam's joyful yell so she had to come see what was happening. Adam was sitting side by side with Roy. Once again Mary felt badly about not having children, but the Lord had not blessed them with any no matter how hard they prayed. However, Adam was like a son to Roy, and somehow Mary knew their relationship would last. Adam looked up at her with a grin.

"Pa found us a schoolteacher. Now he can come home."

"Adam, I'm sorry but the weather won't permit that. We're due for snow any day now, and your Pa will take a month just to get to the foothills. By then it will be too late to travel here."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Coffee. I just miss my Pa. I like you a lot, and Sheriff Coffee too, but it's just not the same."

""Boy, I understand that. Now your Pa misses you boys something fierce I'll wager. Maybe he'll have a big surprise for you two by the time he gets back."

Mary's 'Roy' didn't come out fast enough to stop her husband. Now Adam's curiosity was piqued and they both knew he wouldn't be satisfied until they explained what Roy had said.

"Now, you see, your pa's been real lonely." Ben had confided in Roy and of course Roy had told his wife.

"Why would Pa be lonely? He's got me and Hoss and Hop Sing too."

"Well, son, ya see it's different for a man. A man can be lonely living without a woman. Now your pa loved his wives, but they're both passed on now."

"Pa can't get married again. Ma wouldn't like that."

"Son, your Ma would've wanted your Pa to be happy now wouldn't she?"

"Yes, but he's married to Ma."

"Well, you see he's married to your mother too then, isn't he. It's jest that them two is already in heaven, and your pa needs a wife here on earth."

"He doesn't need a wife. He's got all the family he needs." Adam was angry and upset which caused Hoss to start crying. Hoss had no idea why Adam was upset, but Hoss got upset any time Adam was upset. Seeing that, Adam changed his tone and immediately talked soothingly to Hoss who smiled at the big brother he adored. Adam slept with Hoss at night here at the Coffees. He had acted like it was an imposition not to have his own room but actually it was soothing to him too to have his little brother snuggled up beside him all night. Slowly he began to understand why his father wanted a wife, but he still didn't like it. He would think about it though for quite a while.

To try to cheer up the boys, when some nice weather rolled in just before Christmas, Roy and Mary bundled up Hoss and with Adam set out for Carson City. They left very early hoping that they could return the same day. They were going to have lunch in the bigger town and then probably purchase a few small items for Christmas.

Adam took along some coins he had earned by running errands in town and asked if he could shop in one of the stores by himself. Roy waited just outside the door as Adam made his purchases. Adam picked out a pretty handkerchief for Mary and bought a small bag of candy for Hoss. He asked the proprietor what he could buy for a man with the money he had left, and the shopkeeper told him he had more than enough to buy two handkerchiefs so he bought a blue one and a red one. He had a present to give each of the four people most important to him and suddenly remembered Hop Sing. He asked if there was enough there to buy some spices. The shopkeeper looked over his supplies and said he would sell him several packets of spices for what he had left so Adam bought those too. Then all of his purchases were wrapped up in brown paper and the package was tied with string. Adam walked out of the store feeling very good until he saw his old schoolteacher walking toward them.

"Well there's the two who ruined my life. Sheriff, what are you doing with that wretched liar? Come to take another man's livelihood away?"

"Now you see here. You were lucky to walk away like ya done. I woulda let Ben Cartwright tear you limb from limb except then he woulda gone to jail instead a you. Now you move along. I know the sheriff here too, and he won't take kindly to you harassing citizens on the street."

"Well, I'll move along. You just watch yourself. You never know what might happen."

Standing with Adam until the man left, Roy told him to sit on the bench by the store until Roy could go find Mary and let her know to watch out for the former schoolteacher. Adam waited patiently until he heard his name being called from the alley by what sounded like a woman.

"Hey, Adam Cartwright, come quickly. The sheriff needs you. Hurry, hurry, he said you had to hurry."

Adam set his package down on the bench and hurried into the alley but didn't see anyone. He walked down the alley looking for Roy and wondering who had called him. Suddenly from behind, he heard his name being called and recognized the voice. Whirling around he saw his former schoolteacher, and realized at the same time that there was no avenue of escape from this dead end alley. Adam put his hand in his pocket and carefully opened his penknife with one hand. He waited then to see what the man would do.

"You never got properly punished for what you did to me. I mean to take care of that right now. Don't run. It'll just be worse for you if you run."

The man lunged toward Adam who jumped back but now they were only about five feet apart. The man smiled with a devil's twisted grin and took two steps toward Adam who pulled his knife from his pocket and slashed the man as he took his next step. He drew blood with the first slash that had struck the man's forearm. He grabbed the cut with his other hand and was furious.

"You damn insolent brat. I was only going to give you a proper beating for your behavior. But now I think I'll break your neck."

Holding his knife in front of him, Adam slowly retreated. He didn't know what he could do next. The next sound brought relief though. Both of them heard a pistol being cocked and then a second one.

"Now you just turn around real slow like. You make a move on that boy, and I'll have to shoot ya to defend him. Now mind ya, I actually would like to shoot ya, so keep that in mind."

Seeing the Carson City sheriff standing next to Roy Coffee, the former schoolteacher tried to explain away his actions. "Sheriff, that boy attacked me. He cost me my job in Eagle Station, and forced me to try to live by manual labor. Now he attacked me which should only prove that the punishments he got before were justified."

"Let me see now. I heard you say you was going to give him a beating, and then you threatened to break his neck. Around here, mister, that's grounds for someone to draw a knife to defend himself especially when the man attacking him is more than twice his size. Now you're going over to the jail. Don't give me no trouble cause like as not I could add a few more charges onto what you're already facing."

"Charges? For what? I'm the one who got hurt here."

"Oh, attempted murder, assault, disturbing the peace, and about anything else I can think of. Now what do you think the judge is gonna say when I'm the main witness against you?"

"But, but …"

"Best you not say anything more. Roy, you're gonna need to come over to the office. I want you and the boy to make statements too. The judge will want to read em."

After Adam retrieved his package, he walked with Roy to the sheriff's office.

"How did you know I needed help?"

"The wife of the owner of the store heard what was going on and ran to find me. I was already walking back and talking with the sheriff here. We got to the alley just as he went for you the first time. Boy you really handled yourself well there. There's many a man wouldn't a been able to handle that so well."

Standing a little taller with Roy's praise, Adam did have to admit something. "Sheriff Coffee, I was really scared."

"That's normal boy. I would a been scared too if someone was threatening to beat me and then said he was gonna snap my neck. Being scared isn't the issue at all. It's how you handle fear that makes the difference. Some people freeze up, some scream and holler, and some use their heads and try to do the best they can. You're one of those. You done real well, Adam, real well."

After Adam and Roy gave their statements, the sheriff invited them to stay at his house for the night. He said he had plenty of room if the boys would share a bed. The next morning, the Roy got their carriage and the four of them headed home. The town was quiet when they got back so Roy took Mary and the boys to the house before he headed to the office. He was home only an hour later.

"It seems Christmas has brought out the best in folks. No trouble today, and no complaints by anyone either. We'll be able to decorate the house and help you get ready for the holiday."

"What about Hop Sing and the men on our ranch?"

"Well, if you're worried we can take a ride out there now. Hoss is sleeping so this is a good time to go. We'll be back before dinner."

After Adam got the packets of spices he had purchased for Hop Sing, Roy and Adam headed out to the ranch. When they got there, everything seemed to be in order. Hop Sing was thrilled to have company and had all sorts of baked goods to send with them. He was also very happy to receive a gift from Adam.

"Most humble servant thanks number one son. Make me very happy."

"Oh, Hop Sing, you're not a servant. You're part of the family."

Adam's heartfelt comment was more meaningful to Hop Sing than the small gifts he had received. He wrapped is arms around Adam and the two hugged. Adam asked if he could get a few things before they left and filled a small valise with items. Then it was time for Adam and Roy to return to town. Hop Sing had tears in his eyes as he watched them go. He had not felt so loved in so long, and that meant that the emotional impact was very strong.

On Christmas morning, Hoss was up before Adam who had been up late the night before reading. The little boy rushed back into the room.

"Adam, Adam, there's presents. Adam, Adam, wake up. Presents. I can smell my stocking. It smells real good. Hey, Adam, wake up."

"Hoss, why are you up so early. I don't have to go to school today. Sheriff Coffee doesn't have to go to work today."

"Cause you said we get presents. Adam, c'mon. Presents!"

Slowly Adam slid from under the covers, dressed, and then straightened the bed as Hoss waited impatiently by the door. By the time they were downstairs, they were breakfast smells from the kitchen. Hoss ran to his sock hanging by the fireplace.

"Smell it, Adam. Smell. It smells good."

Knowing that it was the candy that he had purchased that Hoss could smell, Adam could only smile at him. Then he looked by the tree and saw there were presents there too. He sat on a chair and took Hoss on his lap. He read the Christmas story that Ben had read every Christmas no matter where they were after Inger had given him the book. On the tree were the ornaments that Ben had received from his wives. Mary had helped Adam put them on the tree the night before. Adam had done all he could to make Christmas seem normal, but he still missed his father terribly and knew he would be gone two to three months more. After breakfast, Roy pulled out a letter from Ben which he had written and asked Roy to save until Christmas morning. There were gifts of clothing for the boys as well. Then it was time for Adam to hand out the gifts he had purchased. Roy and Mary were touched that he would buy them gifts, and of course it was so like Adam to get something practical although Mary loved her lace trimmed handkerchief and said that would be the one she would use when she dressed up for church services. The most fun reactions though came from Hoss when he discovered the bag of candy in his stocking. He decided he liked Christmas very much. Mary let him have one candy, and said he could have another with his lunch. Hoss was elated, and soon, very sticky too.

That night the mild weather ended and several heavy snowstorms blanketed the area with several feet of snow. School was cancelled until the weather improved, and Adam made quite a bit of money helping to remove snow that often was blown back in by the next day. For the next few months, there was nothing much that changed. There also were no letters from Ben which upset Adam even though Roy said there was no reason to worry. With the heavy snows and bad weather mail delivery was sporadic. Roy told him that a letter could be sitting in any one of a number of towns and that he shouldn't worry about his father. But he did worry. A very short letter did come in the last week of February that mostly said that Ben was on his way home. Then just a week later, after a knock on the door of the Coffee house, Adam opened the door to find his father standing there. He froze not knowing what to do.

"Aren't you going to welcome your old father home?"

"Yes, yes, welcome home, Pa."

Ben detected a reticence there that he had not heard before. He went to hug Adam and got a hug in return but not the hug he expected. Hoss on the other hand was overjoyed and came running full tilt at his father who grabbed him and swung him up for a big hug. Hoss kept saying 'Papa' over and over again smiling with delight. Ben had dinner with the Coffees and his sons, and then borrowed Roy's carriage to go home. As they drove, Adam finally asked the question he most wanted to ask.

"I heard you were looking for a woman to marry. Did you find one?"

Surprised by the question, Ben thought a moment and realized what must have happened. "You must have heard something from Roy. Yes, I did. Her name is Linda, and she is very beautiful. I wasn't going to talk about it right away, but as long as you brought it up, I don't want to keep any secrets from you. I'm going back in July to marry her and bring her here. I would like you to come with me to New Orleans."

"If you want me to. What about Hoss?"

"It's too difficult a journey for someone so young. There will be hours and hours riding stagecoaches. Hoss could never sit still for that long."

With a little smile, Adam had to agree. Then he remembered what his father had said about getting married and wasn't smiling any more. Ben noticed and sighed. It was what he expected but had hoped wouldn't happen. Linda had said she thought Adam would be jealous of a woman coming into their family after so many years without a mother. Ben was thinking that she was correct. When Ben told Roy, he was very happy for his friend. Hop Sing was worried at first that he would lose his job, but Ben told him that Linda did not like to cook and clean which relieved him at first, but then he got to wondering about what kind of woman this was that his boss was going to marry. Adam and Hop Sing talked about that more or less one day in the kitchen.

"You go with father to see him marry?"

"I don't want to go, Hop Sing. I would rather just stay here."

"You go, you decide she right for father, you tell him."

"Hop Sing, he doesn't listen to me. I'm just a boy. I don't know anything about marriage."

"You know people. You look at her and she look at you, and you know. Tell father."

"Well, I will if I can, but I still don't think he'll listen to me at all. He's got his mind made up. What could I say that would make a difference?"

"You know if she like Mister Ben had sons. You tell by looking. Listen. Look in eyes. Then tell father. He listen. Just wait for lightning and thunder be done first. Then he think. He know."

"Hop Sing, you are a very smart man. Thank you."

Most of that conversation had taken place in Chinese. Even if Ben had been listening, he would only have understood that his name was mentioned and nothing else. Adam and Hop Sing continued their conversation in English after that part. Hop Sing's English was getting better. He spoke in Chinese like he did in English to simplify it for Adam. As a result of that conversation, Adam didn't grumble any more about the trip. He had a mission now that Hop Sing had set for him. Like any job he had, he would do his best too.

Chapter 6

As Ben and Adam rode into New Orleans, Adam decided rather quickly that he didn't like the city. It was loud and smelled bad. He didn't know what all the odors were but the combination of those smells with the heat and the humidity, and he was ready to leave. Once they were on foot, they were jostled by crowds of people and harangued by street vendors selling just about anything. Ben was hoping that Adam was so overwhelmed by it all that he wouldn't notice some of the more unsavory things for sale. Ben got them a room at a moderately priced hotel, and then Ben took Adam out to find a restaurant for lunch. The plan was that Ben would then go to see Linda while Adam waited in the room reading and resting from the trip.

Traveling had not been overly arduous, but ordinary travel by stagecoach was wearing. There was the jarring ride that never seemed to get any easier. Then there were the meals served at way stations that were usually beans and biscuits which might taste all right for one meal but as a constant diet made one long for anything with a crunch or sweetness. Hop Sing had packed some beef jerky for them but it had only lasted for about three fourths of the trip. They were ready for a real meal. The food was tasty and not at all what Adam was used to eating. It seemed there were more fried items and spicy items. He ate a lot though because it was all better than beans and biscuits.

Ben smiled as he watched Adam eat. For most of the trip, Adam had been relatively quiet, reading when he could and watching the landscape intently as when it wasn't blowing dust everywhere or pouring ran down making mud so that the horses were splattering them and the coach with mud even as rain blew in the canvas covered windows. Adam didn't complain, but Ben could tell he was relieved that the journey was over at least for the time being. The last two days the travel had been much easier and the two of them had talked a lot although it was more Adam asking questions and Ben answering. For a moment, Ben was back on that wagon seat with his young son at his side asking why the sky was blue. Then eventually asking why his Ma had to die when she had never hurt anyone in her life. That had been a difficult question because how do you explain the unexplainable to a child and still have them keep their faith in God. Luckily they had Hoss because that was the part of Inger they had left with them, and that happy child had helped both he and Adam to recover from Inger's loss. Adam had suffered nightmares for a long time after seeing his mother die, but eventually those had stopped too. Now Ben was ready to embark on the next step of their life together and hoped that Adam could accept another new mother.

That night Ben returned to the hotel very late. Adam had dressed for bed hours before expecting his father to be back. Then when he had gotten so sleepy he had to go to bed, he turned the lamp down and waited. He couldn't sleep deeply although he nodded off several times. He was worried that perhaps something had happened, and his father wasn't coming back. He was afraid because he knew no one here and wouldn't even know who to ask for help. When Ben leaned down to see if Adam was sleeping, Adam could smell both alcohol and women's perfume on his father. He feigned sleep not sure what he should say in a situation like this. The next morning Adam awoke early. After dressing, he got a book and read quietly by the window relaxing in the cool breeze that came in. He wished he could sit on the balcony but didn't have permission to do that and wouldn't wake his father for so selfish an idea. Eventually Adam saw his father stir and sit up.

"Good morning, Pa. You had a late night last night so I was real quiet this morning."

"Thank you, Adam, but perhaps you should have made some noise. We're to meet Linda for lunch, and you haven't even had any breakfast yet."

"That's all right, Pa. I had a lot to eat at lunch yesterday."

Suddenly it dawned on Ben that he had been so intent on seeing Linda for dinner, he had neglected to make sure his son had something to eat. He was embarrassed about that and feeling a bit guilty so he hurried to clean up and dress. Then he took Adam down to the restaurant and got him some breakfast. It was too close to lunch at ten in the morning, but he wasn't going to make Adam wait two more hours to eat. After breakfast, they browsed through some shops. Adam was most interested in the bookstore, and Ben let him buy two books there. With only limited books available at home, Adam had read most of his books five or six times already. Adam was all smiles as they returned to the hotel. He had his father's undivided attention for two hours and he had two new books too. Then they came down to the lobby, and Adam was introduced to his father's fiancée.

"Well, it is a pleasure to meet you, young man. Your father just gushes with praise about you. What do you think of our fine city here?"

"How do you do, ma'am. I'm sorry, but I don't like the city very much."

"Well, perhaps living in the wilderness and denied the chance to go to school, you don't yet know how to appreciate the finer things a city has to offer."

"No, ma'am."

Linda was a little taken aback by that. She didn't know whether he had just agreed with her or disagreed. Well, she had already been talking to Ben about sending the little pest off to school in the east. He had a grandfather in Boston after all who could take care of him. Now all she had to do was convince Ben to live in a fine city like this. It didn't have to be New Orleans. New York or even Philadelphia would be acceptable to her. She gave an appraising look at the boy who stood in front of her smiling at her, but she could see the smile didn't reach his eyes which were boring into her so intently it made her uncomfortable. They walked outside and hailed a carriage to take them to a friend's estate for dinner. She had the boy sit by the driver so she could snuggle up to Ben. She almost had him in her bed last night, and would have if he hadn't suddenly started feeling guilty about leaving his son alone for so long and bid her a hasty good night. A little sleeping powder in the boy's tea at dinner, and he would be sound asleep by the time they were back at the hotel.

Everything worked as Linda planned it. She had Ben carry Adam up to their room and tuck him in before the two of them took a romantic drive around the city. By the time they were in her neighborhood, she literally had Ben in the palm of her hand. He hurriedly paid the driver and escorted her into her home. Hours later he awakened in her bed and did that guilt thing again which she was finding ever so tiresome. He insisted he had to return to the hotel. She allowed it, but told him to make other arrangements for the next night. She told him she had something special planned and he wouldn't want his young son there. She smiled as she shut the door after he left. Wearing a gown that left little to the imagination, she had given him one last look to make him suffer for leaving her this night. She assumed that by the next night, she would have him doing whatever she asked. This was far better than going to England with Lord Chadwick. He was so tiresome with all the rules and such he expected her to follow. He was fabulously wealthy but Linda had other ways to acquire money if Ben didn't have enough for them to live in the style to which she had become accustomed. The next morning, she was the subject of a discussion between father and son.

"Pa, you still want to marry Linda?"

"Yes, of course I do. Why would you ask me that?"

"Pa, she doesn't like me. She doesn't want me around."

"Oh, Adam, she's just concerned that you are not getting the education you deserve. She pointed out that your grandfather hasn't seen you since you were an infant."

"Pa, she doesn't want me around at all. She doesn't want the ranch either. She wants to live in a city."

"Well, would that be so awful. We could sell the ranch for a lot of money now. I could start up my own business. Linda knows a lot of people who would help me."

"But Pa, that wasn't our dream. That's Linda's dream."

"What is it about her that you don't like that you have all these negative thoughts about her?"

"Pa, she doesn't have kind eyes. Every lady I ever knew had kind eyes. None of them were ever as kind as Ma, but even Mrs. Chambers who said I took her pie was real sorry when she found out she was wrong. Even she had kind eyes. Mrs. Martin had kind eyes. Mrs. Coffee has real kind eyes, almost as good as Ma's."

"Adam, your Ma is gone. You can't try to replace her. You have to give up these silly ideas and give Linda a chance."

"If a woman is going to take Ma's place, why can't I want her to be kind like Ma was, and nice like Ma was?"

"Because every person is different and you have to accept them for who they are."

"But Linda doesn't accept you for who you are. She wants somebody different than what you are."

"Adam, I will not be discussing my decisions with a child. Now find that book you want to read and be quiet."

Dropping his eyes to the floor, Adam got his book and sat by the window to read. His father was going to see Linda again. Adam thought he better follow Hop Sing's advice now and wait to see what his father would do. This time, Ben arranged for a lunch and a dinner to be delivered to the room. Adam had books to read, paper to use for drawing, and he would have plenty for food and beverages. Ben left feeling a bit guilty though as he thought about what Linda had said about Adam and why he shouldn't accompany them on their picnic. In light of what Adam had said, Ben was looking at her ideas and comments differently than he had the day before. He had some questions he wanted to ask her.

By late afternoon, Ben was back with Adam. He told Adam they were going to have dinner and then spend some time walking. Adam could see how upset his father was so he waited quietly for his father to talk. He knew he didn't like it when people pressed him to talk when he wasn't ready. When the two of them went to dinner, Ben looked at Adam and smiled. His son had just saved him from making a huge mistake. He didn't want Adam to think that it was always acceptable to get involved in another person's love life even of those you loved dearly, but in this situation, he had acted with his father's best interest at heart even if he also didn't want Linda in his life.

That afternoon had been enlightening as well as devastating for Ben. He had asked Linda point blank if she wanted to live in Nevada with him, and she had laughed in response. At first the laughter had been teasing and then it turned to derision as she realized Ben was serious. She laid out her plans for them at that point and Adam, Hoss, and Nevada weren't part of them. She planned on a boarding school for Adam, a nanny for Hoss, and a beautiful home in a city for the two of them. She had no consideration for what Ben wanted or dreamed of doing. She had ended their discussion by telling him that she was accepting Lord Chadwick's offer of marriage, and ending her betrothal to him. He had been shattered. The woman whom he had loved so completely spurned him and had a second waiting to take his place if he would not kowtow to her wishes.

"Pa, is Linda going to join us for dinner?"

"Adam, Miss Lawrence will not be joining us. I will not be marrying her. I would like to spend a few more days in the city. I had made arrangements to visit with others whom I met last winter when I was here. You will come with me to everything I have planned. No more sitting in the hotel room by yourself. Anyone who wants to see me has to want to see my son too or they won't be seeing me."

Smiling Adam ate his dinner with more enthusiasm than he had had for days. His father was back to sounding like his father again. Adam had decided that he wouldn't mind much if his father found a woman to marry. He was hoping though that she would be someone with kind eyes. The two of them visited with a number of people in New Orleans and were invited to parties and one picnic.

Somewhere in all of that gaiety, Ben met another woman who caught his eye. It was too soon after the debacle of Linda Lawrence for Ben to fall in love, but he was certainly interested. At the second meeting with her at another soiree, Adam could tell that his father liked this woman very much. He paid attention to her and how she acted and did not get the negative impression he had of Linda at their first meeting. Then he remembered Hop Sing's advice and looked at her face and especially her eyes. Nothing was said about Marie DeMarigny until Ben and Adam were leaving on their trip home. Then Ben was lost in thought for a time until he turned to Adam with a question.

"What did you think of Mrs. DeMarigny when you met her?"

"She's all right."

"Just all right? Doesn't she have 'kind' eyes?" Ben was smiling a little at his son's belief that he could tell if a person was good or bad by looking in their eyes. He was amazed however at the answer he got.

"She's got kind eyes, but there's more there too. She seems very sad, and there was something else. It was like she was scared all the time. She looked like a rabbit does when you're hunting, and they know you're there, but they don't know where you are. They kinda twitch and look all about but don't do anything. I don't know if that makes sense. Do you know what I mean, Pa?"

"Yes, I think I do. And you're right too I think. She did seem very sad and very worried about something. She is also very nice, and seemed very natural. There did not seem to be an effort to be something she wasn't."

"What is she, Pa? What does she do?"

"Ah, well, she's a hostess at a gentlemen's establishment."

Sensing a bit of unease in his father with that statement wasn't enough to stop Adam's questions. "Pa, what's a gentlemen's establishment?"

"It is a place where men go to enjoy activities men enjoy. Because you are still a boy, that is enough answer for you. You will need to be a man before we discuss that any more."

That answer in that tone of voice let Adam know there wasn't going to be any more discussion of that topic, but his curiosity was certainly piqued. He wondered if Hop Sing knew what a gentlemen's establishment was and whether he would explain if he knew. If not, Adam thought that one of the hands might tell him. They told him all sorts of things when his father wasn't around. Apparently they thought his surprised look each time was very amusing. Sitting back with a rather smug look, Adam was sure that plan would work.

Ben noticed that look of Adam's and wondered what he was thinking but didn't dare ask him because it could lead to more questions about Marie and gentlemen's establishments that Ben wanted to avoid. By doing so, he unknowingly had set in motion a series of events which would cause rumors to fly through their community and opinions to be formed of Marie before she ever became his intended and then his wife. Adam would ask the hands about a gentlemen's establishment and when they asked why, he explained that Marie DeMarigny, whom he and his father had met in New Orleans, worked at one. Considering his age, the hands had been reasonably vague about what went on at a gentlemen's establishment, but among themselves, they talked about how Ben had met her and what she did for a living.

As for Ben, he couldn't get Marie out of his thoughts. He had felt a strong physical attraction to her that he had never felt with Linda. She was in his thoughts and in his dreams at night. He also wanted to help her because like Adam he had sensed a deep sadness within her as well as fear. He wanted to take care of her, and get her away from a life that would sooner or later ruin her. He determined that when winter arrived, he was heading back to New Orleans "on business" and his sons would remain at home. If all went well, he was thinking there would soon be a woman on his ranch to be his wife and a mother for his children. With that thought, he fell asleep each night.

As the summer wore on, Ben was thinking about something else. People had asked him what the name of his ranch was. He hadn't thought that was very important until so many had asked. He opened the discussion with Adam one day as they worked on putting in some fencing. Ben was thinking of something like Circle C or Three Cs but Adam had a different thought.

"We should name it something special because it is something special. It should be a name that when people hear it, they think about how beautiful our ranch is."

Ben suggested the Sierra Ranch, the Bonanza Ranch, and a number of others including some Bible references and others from classical literature. Adam was thinking more of what he saw right in front of them.

"Pa, how about what we have right here. Why don't we call it after one of those. We have Foxtail, Bristlecone, Knobcone, Lodgepole, and Ponderosa trees here."

Which one of those trees do you think is the most beautiful?"

"I like the Ponderosa Pines the best and we have a lot of those. I like the Foxtail too but we don't have many of those."

"Then the Ponderosa Pine Ranch it is. What do you think of that?"

"It's kinda long. It seems most ranches have a shorter name than that."

"The Ponderosa sound better to you? I like it."

"I like it too Pa. It even matches the brand you use on the cattle. The three lines make it look just like a pine tree."

"It certainly does although I did mean for the three lines to represent us, but a pine tree is good too. All right then, another decision made. Do you think you could carve out that name on some soft wood?"

"Sure, Pa, I'd like to do that."

Soon there was a signpost pointing to the ranch, and proudly carved in it was just the word 'Ponderosa', and soon that was how people referred to the growing Cartwright ranch on the shores of Lake Tahoe.

Chapter 7

"Pa, Pa, Mr. Andrews said he can teach me to play a guitar. He said he has one but I need my own if I really want to learn. Pa, there's a guitar in the general store. It's been there for ages. It only costs fifteen dollars." Adam was rushing over to talk with his father after talking with the new schoolteacher outside of the church.

"Adam, that's a lot of money for a toy. I don't think we can afford that right now. There are a lot of expenses with winter coming up and no money coming in during those months."

"Pa, I have some money. I could buy it myself."

Before Ben could say any more, Adam was running up the stairs. "No running in the house!"

"Yes, Pa. Sorry, Pa." Adam turned at the top of the stairs and headed to his room. He came back with a box and a small package. "Pa, I forgot. I bought this for you last Christmas, and I saved it for you, but I forgot I saved it. Here it is, Pa. Merry Christmas a little late."

Opening the small package, Ben was happy to see it was a blue handkerchief. His practical son got him something he could use, but every time Ben pulled this one from a pocket, he would remember his son too. "Thank you, Adam. That is a very nice present. It will make me think of you often."

"We got it when the Coffees took us to Carson City and that Mr. Chesky, ah, oh, I wasn't supposed to talk about that."

"About what? And what did that Chesky have to do with it? And who said you didn't have to tell me about it?"

On the spot, Adam had to tell the truth so he related the story of the trip to Carson City, the shopping, and then the encounter with his former schoolteacher. Adam could see how upset his father was. "It's all right, Pa. Sheriff Coffee said he went to prison where he can't hurt anybody."

"Adam, never ever keep anything that serious from me no matter who tells you not to tell me. That is too important for a father not to know. Someday you'll understand that better when you have children. Now the next question is how did you get money? You didn't take money from the Coffees for helping out, did you?"

"No, sir. I did everything Mrs. Coffee asked me to do. I really like her, Pa. I'm so sorry she's sick so much. She's really nice."

"Yes, yes, enough of trying to change the subject. Where did you get the money?"

"We had a lot of snow, Pa, and I shoveled for people and they gave me money especially as I came back after every storm to help out."

"Did everyone pay you?"

"No, sir, Sheriff Coffee said some people couldn't afford to pay so that was just being neighborly. But Mr. Cass at the store paid me a dime every time. I worked with his son and we shoveled the walk in front of the store, and the door to the storeroom in back where people drop stuff off like eggs and pick up orders too. Mr. Chinders over at the bank never paid me though. I wondered at that because a bank has lots of money, but I did it every time just the same."

"What about school?"

"Oh, I helped shovel at school too. No one gets paid to shovel at school though."

"No, no, I mean you didn't miss any school to do that shoveling, did you?"

"Pa, they called off school with every big storm, and there were lots of storms. I think maybe some of the ladies didn't like teaching so much and didn't mind calling off school."

"That's probably true, son. It takes a special person to be able to teach and to maintain proper discipline at the same time. Now how much did you earn?"

"Well, I added it all up on a sheet like you do with the books. I have sixteen dollars and eighty seven cents."

"Who gave you pennies?"

"Mrs. Mays at the boarding house. I told her she didn't have to give me anything, but she said she had to pay something so she would give me a penny every time. Pa, it's pretty hard for her with all those kids and no husband, isn't it?"

"Yes, and we're bringing some beef to town to give out to the poorer families at Thanksgiving, and I think I know of one family that really needs it."

"Could I come with you too, Pa? I could use some of those pennies and add some candy to give to them too."

"That's a wonderful idea. And I suppose once the wagon is empty, there would be time and room enough to go see about buying you that guitar."

Thinking back to just over a week earlier, Ben had to smile. Roy Coffee had told them that the new schoolteacher had arrived and was looking forward to school opening. He was at the Mays' boardinghouse, and he knew Adam would be excited to tell him he would be able to buy that guitar. The first meeting of the two had happened on the Ponderosa. As president of the school board and as the man who had done the hiring, Ben invited the new teacher to the house for dinner on the previous Sunday. Adam was respectful but very quiet. He responded as little as possible to questions.

"Well, Adam, it is so good to meet you. Sheriff Coffee has told me a lot about you. Now how old are you?"

"Ten, sir."

"You're quite tall for a ten year old."

"I'm almost eleven sir."

"And this must be your little brother, Hoss. How old is he?"

"He's five, sir, almost six."

"You're an extremely polite young man, but I wish we could talk a bit more. Now, Sheriff Coffee told me what happened a year ago. Then he warned me that I better not do anything like that or I would be looking down the barrel of his pistol. He was quite emphatic about that too."

"He told you?"

"Yes, he told me everything. I am so sorry you had an experience like that. Now I must tell you I expect proper behavior in school, but I do not use the belt on any student. I do have a paddle and might use it if I was forced to do that, but I prefer sending notes to parents and having them do that part of the discipline. Does that seem fair to you?"

"Yes, sir." But Adam now wondered if he would rather have that paddle at school instead of facing his father if he ever had to bring one of those notes home.

"I was in the general store looking over some books to buy, and the proprietor said that you buy more books than the rest of the town all together. I would like to see your library sometime if I could. Perhaps you would be willing to loan me some books. Then after I read them, we could discuss them?"

"Oh, I would like that. I have most of my books in Pa's office right over here. He reads most of them too. I have the last two I bought up in my room. I'll go get them." Adam hurried to the stairs without running but just barely.

"Thank you, John. Adam was very fearful of you because the only schoolteacher he ever knew was a scoundrel. I think he'll be fine going to school now."

"That's quite all right. After what Sheriff Coffee told me, I could certainly understand his reluctance to try school again. I will do my best to teach him, but I would guess that in many subjects he may be nearly equal to my knowledge. I hope he is the kind of boy who wouldn't mind helping with the younger students. My experience has been that sometimes teaching brings about the best kind of learning."

"I'm sure he would be willing to help. The boy has a thirst for knowledge that I have never seen in anyone before, but he has a kind heart and generous soul too."

So Adam and Mr. Andrews had discussed books and school until it was time for the teacher to leave. He told Adam he was looking forward to their next chance to discuss books, and Adam had a huge grin with that. Now Mr. Andrews was getting him interested in music. Both Elizabeth and Inger had been musical, and Ben missed that. Perhaps his son could be the musician in the family and bring singing back into the household.

School went well that fall. Ben did his first cattle drive to California. It was a small herd for sale but they got a good price, and promises that they would buy more in the spring if he had extra to sell. Small communities were developing all over the valley and the demand for beef was exceeding the supply. Ben was able to put a nice sum in the bank, and pay his men a bonus. It was a pattern that continued on the Ponderosa as the men were rewarded for the success of the ranch. Ben didn't have trouble hiring the men he needed. With good pay, bonus pay, and Hop Sing's cooking, the hands were happy to stay on the Ponderosa. As expected, Adam was not happy to find out his father was planning to be gone again that winter.

"It won't be as long, Adam. I'll leave just after Christmas and I'll plan to be back at the end of February if at all possible. I'm not taking the stage this time. I'll ride there to be able to go faster. I have 'business' to attend to in New Orleans."

"Can't you write letters and do your business that way?"

"No, son, this particular matter requires that I be there in person."

"Do we have to stay with the Coffees again?"

"No, Hop Sing has assured me that he can take care of the two of you. Roy will check in with you when the weather permits, and I've arranged again for some of the hands to stay on over the winter. They'll be here if you need help with anything. Hoss is getting older now, and he can understand a lot more. I want you to start reading to him in the evenings. He likes to look at the pictures in some of the books I have too. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Pa, I'll take care of Hoss."

So after Christmas, Ben left his two young sons in the capable hands of his cook and traveled to New Orleans. He was determined to find a wife, and if Marie DeMarigny did not accept his suit, then he would seek out another. He needed and wanted a wife, and his sons needed a mother.

On the Ponderosa, the most frequently asked question was by Hoss. "Where's Papa?"

And Adam's answer was always the same. "He went to New Orleans." Then Adam would describe the city and how badly it smelled, and the crowds of people who pushed and hollered. So then Hoss would want to know why his Papa had gone there, and Adam would answer that he had business to do. But more and more, Adam wondered if the business wasn't primarily of a personal nature because his father had said nothing of what he actually was going to do there. Then a letter came and it was not at all when Adam had expected to hear. His father was going to be delayed getting home because he was traveling by ship to Panama, overland there, and then by ship to San Francisco, and would be arriving home sometime in late March if all went well. Something had changed his father's plans, and Adam worried about what had happened. He hoped that his father was not injured. So each night then, Adam showed a map to Hoss locating New Orleans, Panama, and San Francisco to explain to the little boy where their Papa was.

Every day, Adam was practicing the guitar. It had cost him another dollar to get some sheet music, and with the lessons from Mr. Andrews, he was learning the songs on the sheet music. Hoss was entertained by even the early versions of the songs Adam was able to strum and pluck more or less. Hoss would have been happy even if there wasn't a song. He liked the guitar, and when Adam learned one simple melody reasonably well, he requested that Adam play it over and over again. The practice was good for Adam as his fingers gradually developed the callus necessary to play more comfortably. He hoped to have at least one nice song that he could play for his father when he returned. The trip however sounded harrowing and as February ended and March began, Adam started to have trouble sleeping. A number of times he woke Hoss up with his screams from nightmares. Hop Sing started having him drink a soothing tea before he went to bed each night but sometimes the nightmares still came.

Adam's nightmares were similar to the ones he had after the attack on the wagon train when Inger was killed. There was blood, lots of blood in his nightmares. He looked into Inger's eyes as she gasped in pain. He held Hoss as tightly as he could because he had told his Ma and his Pa that he would. Then his father was there, crying, and leading him and carrying Hoss as they ran to escape the attack. That was the point at which the nightmare always got worse because suddenly everyone had a lance in their side and were crying out for help but none came. Adam wanted to help but he never could, and all of his family died before his eyes as he looked on helplessly. That was the point at which he screamed each time.

Then Adam would sit up and hear his little brother crying. He would go soothe Hoss but there was no one there to soothe him. Hop Sing would sometimes bring more tea, but sleep would elude him for hours until exhausted, he would fall into a dreamless sleep. In the morning, he would be sluggish when he got up, but he had chores to do before Hoss was up so he pushed himself to do what he had to do. Then in the afternoon when Hoss was napping, he would chop firewood and kindling. The snow was melting so he was going to be going back to school soon. He had been doing his schoolwork on his own and was anxious to get some feedback. However he also was worried for Hoss. He wondered how he would do with only Hop Sing there because Hop Sing had work to do and didn't always have time to play with Hoss.

"You go school. Mister Ben tell Hop Sing that Adam go to school. Now you go."

"But Hop Sing, what about Hoss. He's crying, and he wants me to stay with him."

"Hoss big boy now. He be better when you go. Now go so Hoss can stop crying."

Not at all sure he should leave, Adam mounted up on his pony and headed to school. He had a decent day at school, but Mr. Andrews noticed how quiet he was so he asked him what was wrong. When Adam told him, Mr. Andrews asked if Hoss could come to school too.

"Adam, he's old enough. There are a couple of students younger than Hoss. They're here because their families can't send the older children and leave the younger ones unattended. Bring Hoss with you tomorrow if you can, and we'll see how he does at school."

When Adam told Hop sing what the teacher had said, Hop Sing agreed it was a good solution for now. But there was one adjustment that had to be made.

"You ride Mister Ben's horse to school then. Your pony not carry two and lunches for two. Mister Ben' horse need someone to ride him. You do it and then no one else has to do it."

"Pa said I couldn't ride a full sized horse until I was twelve."

"You eleven. You close enough. You need to do it. I tell you do it."

So the next day, Adam rode his father's horse to school with Hoss hanging on to him as tightly as he could. At school, the teacher gave Hoss some chalk and a slate to use. Adam wrote Hoss on the slate and then it was Hoss' job to copy that as often as he could. Adam smiled when Hoss showed him his work later. Hoss had tried to copy the other students and had bent over his slate much like Adam did. He had written Hoss about six times. He reversed the s in his name so Adam showed him how to make an s. He praised the other letters Hoss had written and then set him back at the task again. After lunch, Hoss was tired but there was no place to nap in school. Adam had to deal with a very tired Hoss on the ride home. However that night, Hoss went to bed much earlier, and the next day was able to stay awake without a problem. For several weeks then, that was the routine except Hoss did not go with Adam when the weather looked like there might be rain.

On one of those days when rain had been threatening and the skies opened up with a deluge in the late afternoon, Hoss was home and when Adam rode into the yard, there was a carriage standing empty near the house. In the stable, there were two strange horses. Adam wondered who had come to their home with a carriage and wondered why they were staying. He took care of his horse first though drying him, feeding and watering him, and then drying and oiling the saddle and tack. Once everything was done, he headed for the house lugging a large satchel with a couple of books in it.

When Adam opened the front door, he was shocked to see Marie DeMarigny sitting in front of the fireplace holding Hoss who seemed fascinated with her. Adam took off his hat and coat, and set his satchel next to the front door. Not knowing what to do or say, he waited for her to say something, but the person he heard next was his father who was coming down the stairs smiling broadly.

"Adam, I have a wonderful surprise for you. Missus DeMarigny agreed to be my wife. You have a new mother. Hoss is very happy. Come on over and welcome her to our home."

Turning, Adam grabbed his wet hat and coat, and left slamming the front door in his wake. Ben went to follow him, but Marie said perhaps he should wait for Adam had just received a big shock and needed time to adjust. Ben threatened to go adjust him, but he did wait for fifteen minutes before he followed his son. He assumed he would be in the stable and that's where he found him.

"Adam, that was very rude. I want you to apologize to your mother right now."

"My mothers are dead. That woman in there is not my mother."

"You better watch what you say. I've been gone for quite a while, but I am still your father, and you will not speak to me that way. You will apologize for your behavior, and you will watch your tone with me. Is that understood?"

Standing silent and sullen, Adam said nothing.

"My patience is wearing very thin right now. Is that understood? I expect an answer."

"Yes, sir."

"Now go in the house and apologize to your mother."

With a stiff gait, Adam stalked to the house ahead of his father. When they got in the house, they both hung up their coats. Adam walked to stand in front of Marie who was still holding Hoss.

"Missus DeMarigny, I am sorry if my behavior offended you."

"Adam, this is your mother now. You will address her properly or you can go to your room."

Without another word, Adam walked to the stairs and went up to his room. He lay back on his bed and wondered how things could go so wrong so quickly. When he heard a knock on his door, he knew what to expect and wasn't surprised. His father was there and very angry. But Adam was not going to call her ma or mother no matter how many times he was punished. He was absolutely certain of that. Apparently Ben and Marie talked about it because the next morning when he greeted Marie as Missus DeMarigny, she greeted him with a smile. He saw his father's glower but nothing more was said about how he addressed his new stepmother.

Hoss didn't understand why Adam didn't like Marie. Hoss called her Mama right from the start as his father instructed. He liked having a mother now just like all the other children he knew. But each day he saw how angry Adam was when he called Marie that. Hoss loved his older brother more than anything else in the world, and didn't want to upset him either. As Adam worked in the stable on Saturday morning, Hoss went out to talk with him.

"Adam, why don't you like Mama?"

"She's not Mama. Your mother was Mama. She loved us and no one can take her place."

"But she's real nice, Adam. She sounds real pretty too. I like her voice and she laughs real nice too. Maybe if you would let her read to you or sing you a song, you might like her better."

"I don't need anyone to read to me, and I don't want her to sing to me either."

"You're mad all the time now, Adam. Is it just because of Mama, or are you mad at me too cause I don't like it when you're mad at me, Adam."

Sitting down on a hay bale then, Adam pulled Hoss into a hug. "Hoss, I could never be mad at you. You could yell at me or even hit me, and I could never be mad at you. The day is brighter because of you, and the night time is nicer because of you."

"Thanks, Adam. Maybe someday you'll like our new mama like I do. Could you please try?"

"For you, Hoss, I'll try. I promise."

"Thanks, Adam, cause I know you never break a promise."

So as he had promised Hoss, Adam was polite to Marie and called her that when she asked him to use that form of address instead of Missus DeMarigny. He answered any question she asked, but never initiated any conversation with her. He had decided that tolerating her for his father's benefit and for Hoss was what he had to do.

Chapter 8

The first time that Marie went to town with Hop Sing to buy supplies, it was clear she had been crying when she returned. She had been in town with Ben numerous times. They had gone to church services with the boys. Ben had taken her to meet his friends and introduce at the bank. Most people were polite although Adam noticed that Marie got them some odd looks, but nothing was said until Marie was in town without Ben. Then the comments were made by some women just loud enough for Marie to hear without being loud enough to draw a reaction from others.

Holding her head high and refusing to be beaten down, Marie was being stabbed repeatedly in the heart. She had tried so hard to survive after her husband's death on a ranch in the west. She had taken the only job she could find that was at all respectable. Her husband had left her with more debts than property making her destitute as soon as he stopped sending money. She barely had time to grieve before the creditors were at her door demanding satisfaction of all the debts. Marie had actually been forced to consider a more sordid way of surviving when Ben Cartwright showed up. He was her knight in shining armor. She had explained everything to him because she did not want a marriage based on less than the truth. He had said that was her past, and that he would judge her only on her future actions.

But in town, somehow people had found out the darker side of Marie's past and were using it to attack her. She had sent men up to women, and she had dealt at the gaming tables and served alcohol. And occasionally if a man got too friendly and his hands roamed too much, she had been forced to tolerate at least some of it because she needed the income from that job. The proprietor never let it go too far, but he couldn't afford to alienate his customers either. So many nights, Marie had cried herself to sleep, and in the mornings, she often went for rides at breakneck speed just to release all the tension in her life.

Marie had thought coming to Nevada with Ben would alleviate her stress and so far, it had been wonderful. Adam was still reticent, but Marie was sure he could win him over in time. She had wished that Ben had not insisted that Adam call her mother or mama because she felt that at his age, it only made him more stubborn and determined to do it his way. Hoss followed her around as she did her daily work, chattering away with her, and asking all sorts of questions. It was clear that Hoss had very little idea of what a mother was and often compared Marie to Mary Coffee who was the only other woman he remembered who had ever taken care of him.

As Marie drove the carriage into the yard, Hoss came running to help. Hop Sing got out and took his packages into the kitchen. Marie took the bolts of fabric into the house. She was planning to make curtains and draperies for all the bare windows in the house for she had found that apparently an all male household didn't think window coverings were necessary. Hoss followed her into the house carrying the package of thread and other items she needed to start sewing. The Marie grabbed two baskets to do the tasks she had forgotten to do that morning.

"Mama, are you sad? You look sad."

"I am just tired, my little one."

"Oh, Mama, I'm not little. Everybody always says how big I am. I'm going to school with Adam next year, so I'm not little any more."

"Yes, Hoss, you are a big boy, and you are such a great help to me. Thank you so much. You brighten my days."

"Hey, Adam told me that too." Hoss stood even a little taller then, and Marie smiled at him. She knew that he would grow to be a good, tender hearted man, but that thought made her remember again all the mean spirited people in town. She frowned, and Hoss was worried again. "Mama, did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, my sweet darling boy, you are everything that is right with my world. Now let's get these eggs in to Hop Sing so he doesn't threaten to go back to China again."

Laughing at that, Hoss picked up the basket with the newly dug potatoes, and Marie took the egg basket as they walked hand in hand back to the house. When they got in the house, Hoss saw his father working at the desk and rushed over to him.

"Mama and me picked the eggs and dug up some taters. Mama looks sad but she says she isn't. She says I brighten up her day. That really nice, ain't it, Pa. Adam done told me the same thing."

"Yes, that is very nice. Now where is your Mama?"

"She went in the kitchen with the eggs. Oh, scuse me, Pa, I forgot I gotta bring these taters to Hop Sing so he don't go back to China." Hoss hurried off to the kitchen nearly colliding with Marie who was coming out of that door.

"Sorry, Mama. I almost forgot to give Hop Sing the taters."

As Marie walked to Ben's desk, she saw him gathering up a set of papers. Ben said he had to get some letters in the mail and would be gone a few hours. Marie had hoped to tell him what had happened and gather a little sympathy, but she knew that the ranch business had to come first in this situation. She wished her husband well, and pushed her hurt feelings deep down inside. Ben rode out shortly after, and Marie got busy cutting fabric for curtains.

As Ben rode into town to drop the letters off for delivery, he was met by Roy Coffee and the two of them walked into the general store together where Ben made arrangements for the letters to go on the next freight wagon to California.

"Now, Ben, I heard what happened in town earlier with Marie, and I hope you ain't too upset."

Looking at Roy with a questioning look, Ben could only ask. "What happened?"

"I woulda thought Marie woulda told ya. Some ladies made some unkind remarks while she was here. Mary heard about it and come told me."

Worried as to what the comments might have been, Ben had his worst fears realized in answer to his next question. "What was said?"

"Well seems some people heard that Marie worked at a gentlemen's establishment in New Orleans, and people done jumped to some conclusions. Now I know Marie is a fine woman, and lots a people out here got things they would rather not have people know, but I thought you ought to know I told everyone I could that Marie is a fine upstanding woman and they got not right besmirching her like that."

"Marie has done nothing to bring shame on herself. Anyone who says that she has can say it to my face and deal with the consequences."

The loudness of Ben's statement and the vehemence with which he uttered it would go a long way toward making most people think twice before voicing any other criticisms of Marie. Roy had suspected it would be so, and thought that a public response to this was just what was needed. Ben said he had to get going then because he was quite sure Marie might need to be consoled and wondered why she had not told him earlier. Then he remembered how focused he had been on his business affairs and that he really had not taken a good look at her before giving her a light kiss goodbye. As he rode, he also had a very good idea as to the source of the rumors because of the use of the term gentlemen's establishment. He planned to have a long, and for Adam, a painful discussion with the boy in the stable.

When Ben got home and walked in the house, a close look at Marie showed that she had been crying. Ben's anger at the busybodies in town and at his oldest son intensified.

"Why didn't you tell me? Roy told me. I love you, and I would have stayed here with you. I should have been here with you."

Collapsing in tears, Marie sobbed against Ben's chest. He held her until he felt her relax a bit and start to breathe more normally than the choking shudders he had felt. He leaned back enough to retrieve his handkerchief and too late realized it was the one Adam had given him. He was forced to hand it to Marie so she could dry her eyes and wipe her cheeks. His shirt was damp from her tears.

"Why don't you lie down for a while? I can have Hop Sing brew up some tea for you."

"Thank you, that would be nice, but I think I'll just sit here for a time. Having something to do helps keep my mind off the terrible things that were said."

Giving Marie one more hug, Ben went to tell Hop Sing that Marie was upset and could use some tea to calm her. Hop Sing immediately got busy. Hoss was in the kitchen having a light snack and Ben asked him to be sure to give Marie a hug as soon as he was done. Hoss smiled and nodded for he liked instructions like that. As Ben exited the kitchen, he heard a horse in the yard and assumed it was Adam arriving home from school. Then Ben stalked out to the stable to have a word with his older son. As soon as he walked in the stable, he bellowed Adam's name. Adam didn't turn at all and kept his face turned toward his horse as he finished unsaddling her.

"Yes, Pa."

"Turn around when I'm talking with you."

As Adam turned, Ben was ready to lay into him for what he had caused, but the sight of Adam's face stopped him. "My Lord, what happened to you? Have you been fighting?"

"Only in self defense."

"What happened?"

"Some boys said some things at school today, and I told them they were liars. Mr. Andrews heard, and he came outside and told all of us to come inside and sit for the rest of the break. Then he gave us all notes to take home to our parents about our yelling at each other in the school yard."

"Well, if there was no fight at school, how did you get so hurt?" Ben wished now that he had another handkerchief for his son's nose was bleeding and the handkerchief he was using was soaked with blood already."

"They waited for me. There were three of them, and they made me get off Beauty. When I did, they started hitting me until I fell down, and then they kicked me. They said it was my fault for getting them in trouble. I tried to fight back, Pa, but there were too many of them. I kept my elbows in like you taught me and kept my left up to protect myself, but it just didn't work against three of them. I'm sorry I'm getting home late, Pa, but I couldn't ride very fast."

"What did the boys say that started all this?"

"I can't say, Pa. Please don't make me say it."

Ben had always wondered what it felt like to have a revelation and found out at that moment. "They were saying things about Marie, weren't they?"

"Pa, how did you know? Why would they say those things, Pa? Marie isn't a bad person."

"No, she is a wonderful person. Adam, did you tell anyone about Marie working at a gentlemen's establishment?"

Looking guilty, Adam nodded.

"Who did you tell?"

"Well, I didn't set out to tell anyone. I asked the hands if they knew what a gentlemen's establishment was, and they made some jokes about it that they all laughed at especially when they asked if I was looking for one. I was real embarrassed, Pa. Then they asked me why I was asking if it wasn't for me, and I said it was because my Pa met someone who worked at one, and I was wondering what it was. Pa, they said the same thing you said and didn't explain it at all."

Understanding what had happened and knowing that it was only Adam's curiosity and his own failure to tell Adam that it was a secret that had led to this. He would explain to Marie after he explained a bit more to Adam about what his innocent query had caused. By the time he was done, Adam was in tears.

"I never meant for Marie to get hurt. How can I help, Pa?"

"I think if you go tell Marie just what you told me that would help a lot. It's best that we not keep any secrets around here. Now let's get Beauty taken care of so we can take care of you. Then we'll take care of Mama."

That night after a lot of talking, some tender loving care, and a wonderful dinner, Adam went up to his room. He came down the stairs carrying his guitar and sheet music. He walked to the chair where Marie was sitting and handed her the music. "I've been practicing that song a lot. Pa said you might know how to sing it. He says you sing very well. If I play it, would you sing along with me, Ma?"

Marie burst into tears, and Ben rushed to her side and wrapped an arm around her. Hoss came up and pushed Adam away from her.

"Pa, I didn't mean to make her cry. I really didn't."

"I know, son. Hoss, it's all right. Adam didn't do anything wrong. Your Mama is just very emotional today. She'll be fine. You don't have to worry."

Marie collected herself enough to reach out for Adam's hand. "My lovely son, I was just so touched by you saying that. I'm sorry I cried. It's just the way I am lately. All tears. Come let us sing, and the family shall be as one tonight. Come, Hoss, you sit with me, and Adam will play, and we will sing together."

That night when Ben knocked on Adam's door, he got a muffled answer. When he entered, it was clear that Adam had been crying although he stood with his chin stuck out daring anyone to say that he had been. Wisely, Ben made no mention of it.

"Adam, I want to tell you how proud I am of you. You did something wonderful tonight. You put someone else's needs above your own, and that was a very grown up thing to do, and I want to thank you."

"I wanted to make up for hurting her. I never meant to hurt her."

"Now, about those boys who hurt you, I want to come with you in the morning and talk with Sheriff Coffee."

"Pa, I don't want them to go to jail."

"They won't go to jail, but Roy can go talk to them and give them a good scare. If it had been a fair fight, we would be having a different conversation. Now, who was it?"

"Pa, I don't want to be a snitch."

"Adam, they committed a crime. Three people beating on one is bad enough, but to kick you when you're on the ground is inexcusable. Now you do need to give Roy those names."

"All right, if the Sheriff asks me, I'll have to tell. You have to tell the Sheriff what you know if he asks, right Pa?"

"That's right. No one is going to criticize you for cooperating in an investigation. We'll go see Roy, and you can tell him what happened."

"Pa, do we have to go see Sheriff Coffee? Couldn't he come to see me?"

Understanding that Adam needed a way to save face, although his face was battered at the moment, Ben told him another way it could be done. In the morning, he would take him to see Doctor Martin. Then Doctor Martin could tell the sheriff who could go to the school to investigate. By the time Ben was done explaining how that could work, Adam was smiling again. He had been worried about getting a reputation as a snitch, and his father's solution neatly took care of that.

"Thanks, Pa. You're a great Pa." Adam gave Ben one of those rare hugs, and as Ben turned to leave, Marie was by the door. Adam quickly slid under the covers for he didn't want Marie to see him in his nightshirt.

"Good night, Adam."

"Good night, Ma."

"Good night, Adam. Do you feel all right, son? Any problems breathing or anything like that?"

Not wanting to alarm his father, Adam didn't mention that his urine had looked more like tea when he went to the necessary. "No, Pa, I'm fine. Just some bruises."

The next morning, Ben took Adam to see Doctor Martin who found that he had some kidney damage. He told Ben to take him home and keep him there until his urine was a normal color again. Based on that, Sheriff Coffee headed to the schoolhouse, and after talking with the teacher, he stood in front of the classroom to ask a question.

"Now somebody beat up Adam Cartwright yesterday after school. He had to see the doc who's keeping him out of school because of his injuries. Now I need someone here to tell me who done it."

Almost all eyes in the classroom turned to John Miller and his two friends. The teacher then said those were the three who had been in a shouting match with Adam the day before. Roy called them to come to the front of the schoolroom and hold out their hands to show him their knuckles.

"We had a lot of work to do after school yesterday, Sheriff, and we skinned up our hands pretty good."

"Now what kind of work were you doing that caused all three of ya to have skinned knuckles?"

Not having thought that far ahead, John and his friends had no answer.

"Just what I thought. Now, Mr. Andrews, I'll be taking these three with me. They won't be back this week, I'm thinking."

"You're not taking us to jail, are ya, Sheriff?"

"Well, for now, I'll be taking you to your parents, but if Adam Cartwright doesn't survive, then it would be murder charges and you'll be in jail. Don't worry too much though. They don't hang twelve-year-old boys. You'd probably just get twenty years or so in prison. Maybe less if they thought you was sorry about what ya done."

The three boys were pale and silent then as the sheriff ushered them from the school. He had a stern message for each set of parents as he delivered the three boys to their home. When he finished, he rode to the Ponderosa to check in on the boy he thought of like a son. When he got there, Adam was resting in a chair and reading.

"You're not looking too bad for a boy who might die."

"What?"

"Well, that's what I told that John Miller and his friends. Told them they would go to prison if you didn't recover. Doctor told me you probably won't be able to go to school or ride a horse for at least a week, so we can just let them worry about it until then. Their parents might be thinking on that too. That's what they deserve for not doing a better job of raising those boys."

Smiling, Adam invited the sheriff to have a seat and have some of the cookies Hop Sing had put out for him to eat. Roy sat down, and later was joined by Marie and Hoss who all enjoyed the cookies especially after Hop Sing brought out more when he saw they had company.

Chapter 9

"Is there some urgent business you need to take care of?" Adam saw his father at his desk.

"Yes, I was advised to get these Spanish deeds translated and notarized, and filed with the land office here. Seems that a lot of people are thinking that we're going to be annexed in the near future, and we don't want the trouble some people had in Oregon when President Polk got that signed over. Some of the deeds were in Spanish or even Russian, and the courts are not accepting them as legitimate especially if there is a conflicting claim with a deed that is in English."

"I could translate the Spanish for you if you wish."

"That's right, with all the studying you've been doing for your college exams, I forgot that you were studying French and Spanish in addition to the Latin and Greek. How you keep it all straight, I will never know. Now if you want to come to town with me, we can talk with our lawyer about how he wants to handle this."

There was a lot of chatter from upstairs where Joe and Hoss were planning some project. Little Joe always had some project he wanted to do. Just a week before Adam had to help him with a tree fort. Now the two younger boys were upstairs talking about their next idea. Ben noticed Adam listening to his younger brothers.

"Now don't you let them rope you into doing another project like that tree house. You have enough to do to get ready for college and all the work around the ranch. In less than a year, you'll be going and I want you prepared. Mr. Andrews has been kind enough to prepare a syllabus of things you need to study and do, and I expect that should be what you're working on, not some crazy idea from that six year old up there."

Thinking back to more than six years earlier, Adam had to smile. He wasn't as naïve as he had been when Inger had birthed Hoss. He had seen the changes in Marie and correctly surmised that she was with child long before his father told him. Ben had noticed the lack of surprise when he informed Adam that he would be getting a younger brother or sister. Hoss was as amazed as Adam had been at Hoss' birth, except Hoss asked Adam where Little Joe came from so his father hadn't had to be so embarrassed. Of course, Hoss asked less questions and it was only recently that he had he learned the rest of it. Adam had been willing to share all of his new found knowledge too as he had dated several girls and done a bit of experimenting with kissing and touching. He was looking forward to doing a lot more of that.

"We'll leave when Marie gets back from her ride. Now what's that little grin about?"

"I think it's funny that Little Joe is the one doing the thinking and the planning and Hoss is twice as old, but he gets that smile every time Little Joe comes up with an idea. Then the two of them are so excited until it all goes bad, and then they start pointing fingers. In a few years, Hoss should get over that and not get drawn into Little Joe's schemes."

"Well at least Little Joe doesn't get into a lot of trouble, at least not on purpose."

"Oh, but then he gives you that puppy dog look and that quivering lip. That boy can cry better than anyone I know."

"Oh, and at seventeen, you know so much of the world, huh. You may find when you get to college that there is a great deal you don't know, although you have learned about tobacco and alcohol and a few other things and at a lot younger age than I expected."

"Pa, I was working with the hands all the time. They taught me a lot of stuff. Besides, you got in trouble over that cigar just as much as I did."

Both thought back to that time. Adam liked to watch Ben smoke and blow smoke rings. He wanted to do it too, but his father thought that at thirteen, he was much too young to try tobacco. He forbid Adam to go take any of this tobacco products telling him he needed to be a man before he could share that particular habit with his father. Well Ben had not forbidden Adam from smoking tobacco only that he could not have any of his father's so Adam bought a cigar from one of the hands. His father caught him with it just as Adam decided he was going to throw it away as smoking was disgusting. Ben made him smoke the rest of that cigar which caused Adam to retch everything in his stomach up and then dry heave a number of times after that.

Marie asked Adam at dinner why he didn't want to eat. When he said he couldn't, she asked why and he told her. Ben had been sitting with a smug look at that point thinking how well he had handled that situation but his wife did not share his good opinion of this actions.

"You made our son smoke a cigar until he was ill? How could you do such a wretched thing? He said he was going to throw that cigar away. Don't you think he learned enough from that?"

"Yes, that may have been enough to teach him a lesson about smoking, but I wanted to teach him not to steal. He was told to leave my tobacco products alone."

"But, Pa, I didn't steal your cigar. I bought that from one of the hands."

Hop Sing brought a platter of food to the table at that point making Adam hurriedly leave the table so he never heard the rest of that conversation. He heard later that Marie had let Ben have it for using his son's health as a punishment and how inappropriate she thought that was. Marie had become Adam's champion a number of times. Ben's temper got the best of him sometimes, and it was always Marie who calmed him down. Adam began to find it amusing as he matured that his fiery stepmother was the one who could remain calm when he misbehaved and his logical, strong father was the one who sometimes lost control of his emotions. Just a year earlier, Marie had intervened in what might have been a life altering event for father and son.

At the annual Harvest Dance, Adam had been caught in a compromising position with a girl. The girl's father had gone looking for her when he did not see her dancing or anywhere in the vicinity of the dance floor. He had found her with Adam, and the boy's pants were open and her hand was inside. He had hit Adam and would have done a lot more except Ben and other men were there soon after to pull him away. He had demanded that Ben give his son a whipping for what he had done. Embarrassed, Ben had gotten Marie from inside and driven home. Once they were at home, he told Adam to meet him in the stable. He unhitched the horse to calm down and then walked with the horse to the stable. Adam had stood shamefaced waiting for his father. Grabbing the buggy whip, Ben had Adam strip off his shirt.

"Please, Pa, don't. Pa, I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't enough. You humiliated me and your mother by your actions. How can we ever hold our heads up in town again? Susan's father is going to be telling everyone what you did. Turn around. I want everyone to know that my son doesn't get away with acting that way."

"Stop it this instant, Benjamin. You would scar your son for life because we were embarrassed tonight. Have you talked with him? Have you asked him what happened?" Seeing Ben's unwillingness to answer was answer enough for Marie. "I thought not. Adam, did you touch that girl inappropriately?"

Adam dropped his head and nodded.

"Above the waist or below?"

With that question, Adam's head jerked up. He stammered out an answer. "Above. I swear. She asked me to."

"Did you want to?"

Adam's head dropped again and he nodded.

"Whose idea was it for her to touch you?"

"It was her idea. She said, um, she said, oh Ma, I can't say it."

"But you let her, and you wanted her to?"

That led to another head drop and a nod.

"Adam, put on your shirt and go to your room. Your father and I will discuss the proper punishment for your actions."

"Now just a darned minute, Marie!"

"Adam, go to your room. This conversation is not for your ears."

For the next six months, Adam had plenty of time to study. He only went to town to get supplies or go to church. He wrote a formal apology to Susan and to her father, and had to sit through a number of talks with his mother and with his father on the proper treatment of a lady. When word reached the ranch that Susan had run away from home and was working as a saloon girl in Carson City, Ben and Marie relaxed. It had become common knowledge that Susan had been with a number of boys and men in town and done far more than what she had done with Adam. Ben realized his son had been naïve and easily manipulated by a woman so he had spent time talking with Adam about how some women used sexual behavior to try to control a man. He told him that he should behave properly with a woman, and not let himself get carried away by desire until he was in love with a woman. Of course Ben emphasized that he had to be married at that time, and Marie would tease him at night asking if he had always stuck by that rule. Ben couldn't answer and usually changed the subject which was answer enough.

Adam's experience with alcohol was mostly an accident. Ben had decided that he would hold an annual party to celebrate spring and the end of the long winter. He planned to have the party coincide with the Easter celebration each year if he could. That way there would be all sorts of activities to keep the children happy too. Adam, Hoss, and Little Joe helped Hop Sing color dozens of eggs and before the party, they hid them all around the outside of the ranch house. Then Adam and the hands had set up tables for food and refreshment. There were two tables for punch. One was the men's punch that was liberally spiked with alcohol, and was supposed to be only for the men although there were a number of ladies who didn't mind the menfolk bringing them a cup or two. The other punch was not spiked and was for the ladies and children. Unfortunately, no one thought to mention to all of the teenage boys that they should not be drinking the men's punch. After watching over the Easter egg hunt, Adam and his friends went to get some punch. They were quite thirsty and each had several cups. The thick fruit juice effectively hid the taste of the alcohol. Then the boys were helpful again in organizing games for the children such as the three-legged race and egg toss. Then they hurried back to the table for more punch that they had found invigorating. With dinner, they had more. By the time the musicians started playing, there were several drunk teenage boys and Adam was one of them.

"Adam, were you drinking?"

"No, Pa. I know you said I had to wait until I was eighteen. Pa, I feel funny, and the buildings keep moving."

"Adam, you have been drinking. Don't lie to me, or you'll just make things worse."

"Pa, I swear, I haven't been shrinking. Honest."

"Adam where did you get the alcohol?"

"Pa, I think I'm gonna be sick."

Turning, Adam nearly made it to the corner of the barn before he threw up. The red color was a pretty good clue. Hop Sing had added lots of color to the punch to make it more festive. Once Adam stopped retching, Ben admonished him.

"Adam, you boys were not supposed to be drinking the men's punch."

"What's men spunch, Pa?"

Suddenly it had dawned on Ben that the boys had been busy with the Easter egg hunt when the punch was brought out. It was the first party they had ever had here with the spiked and the unspiked punch. The boys hadn't known. Ben took his son by the arm, and Marie took the other arm so they could help Adam into the house.

"Pa, what's wrong with Adam? Is he gonna die, Pa?"

"No, Little Joe, he's not going to die, although he might wish he had by morning. No, your brother just had too much partying. He needs to go to bed now."

"Pa, Little Joe and I been partying a lot too. We're not gonna get sick and have to go to bed now, are we?"

"No, Hoss, you'll be fine. Now you two go back to playing, and your Mama and I will take care of Adam."

The next morning, it was nearly eight and Adam wasn't out of bed. Hoss and Little Joe went into his room to see why.

"Don't you two ever knock?"

"Adam, Hop Sing made flapjacks for breakfast, and bacon, and ham, and some of those scrambly eggs you like." Hoss was hoping to entice Adam out of bed so they could all eat.

Groaning, Adam rolled over in the bed. "Get out, just get out."

"Adam, Hoss is really hungry, and I want some flapjacks too with butter and maple syrup on them. Maybe some honey too." Little Joe was getting hungry thinking about that.

Groaning even more loudly, Adam got out of bed and walked to his dresser and retched into the washbasin there. With grimaces and shivers, Hoss and Little Joe quickly retreated, and rushed downstairs to tell their parents that Adam was still sick from the party. Ben told everyone to go ahead and say grace and eat. He walked up to talk with his son. When he got to Adam's room, he noticed the sour smell first. He opened the window wide, and then looked at his pale son with the red eyes.

"I'm sorry you found out about drinking the hard way."

"Pa, what happened?"

"You boys weren't supposed to be drinking the spiked punch, and it's my fault as much as anyone. I should have made sure you knew the difference between the two. Then if you drank some, I would have said you deserved how you feel. Now, you stay in bed. Hop Sing will bring you some tea to drink. Try to drink that and some water. Hopefully you'll start feeling better as the day goes on."

"Pa, that's what alcohol does to a person? How do you stand it?"

"Well, I try not to drink too much, and that's what happened to you. You will find that a little alcohol is refreshing, relaxing, and tastes good. Right now you probably don't believe it, but we'll have to start teaching you about drinking within your limits."

"Pa, I don't ever want to drink again. I don't ever want to feel this way ever."

"Good. Now you know the price you pay for drinking too much. You'll learn your limits as you get older. Now, go back to bed. I'll have Hop Sing come help you clean up and bring you that tea."

As Ben finished with his memories, Adam asked him why he was smiling. He told him it was a little trip down memory lane.

"Must have been good memories then."

"Yes, yes, overall, they were good memories of my son growing into a man. Now let's go wait for Marie to get back, and we'll head to town."

Over the next several weeks, Ben had all of the deeds translated, notarized, copied, and filed with the land office, with a copy at his lawyer's, and a copy at home in his safe. Then at the lawyer's insistence, he drew up a will naming his sons and wife as heirs, and Adam as executor with Marie as his guardian should anything happen to Ben. Ben asked Hop Sing to make a special dinner on the day that all the papers were finally filed away and everything was on solid legal ground. He had the boys clean up, and they were all waiting for Marie to get home so that they could have a celebratory dinner. Adam went to the yard to take care of her horse when she got back. He saw her coming and her horse seemed to be out of control. He yelled for his father, but it was already too late. The horse tried to stop seeing the familiar yard and Adam standing there but he stumbled and Marie went flying. She was a small woman and strong for her size but her neck couldn't withstand the impact of her head on the ground and the snap was audible. Adam ran to her side as Ben exited the house.

"Oh, my God, what happened?"

"She came in riding too fast and Blaze stumbled. Pa, is she going to be all right."

Knowing it was futile, Ben reached down to place a hand on Marie's chest. She was warm but there was no longer a heart beating to keep her that way.

"Go inside, Adam. Keep Joe and Hoss away from here. Go quickly now. Go!"

And Adam had run inside and slammed the door looking a little wild eyed to his younger brothers.

"Adam, what's wrong. We heard ya yelling. Where's Mama?"

"You can't go outside. Mama's been hurt. No, Little Joe, Pa says you're to stay in here with me. Now don't fight me on this."

Of course Little Joe did fight him, but Adam was nearly twelve years older and was able to hold him securely as he kicked and screamed. Hoss stood watching Adam.

"Adam, did something happen to Mama? Adam, you gotta tell us."

"Yes, Hoss, she's hurt. She's hurt really bad."

"I wanna see Mama. Adam, let me go. Let me go!"

With a well placed kick to Adam's groin area, Little Joe got free. Adam fell to the floor in a fetal position in obvious pain. Hoss grabbed Little Joe before he could run outside.

"No, Little Joe. Adam said ya gotta stay here, and you're staying."

Later when Ben came inside, he sat next to them in front of the fireplace and took Joe on his lap. He told them what Adam already knew had to be true. Marie had died in that fall. Little Joe said it wasn't true and ran to his room. Of course he knew it was true, but had never faced any adversity in his life and had no idea how to handle truly bad news. Ben sat at the fireplace not saying a word. Adam took Hoss by the arm and tugged a little to get him to go with him. They went to Joe's room and found him sobbing. Adam sat on the side of the bed and rubbed his back. Almost immediately Little Joe scrambled and threw himself into Adam's arms. Adam held him as he cried and then put an arm around Hoss as he sat next to Adam on the bed with tears flowing too. Both boys asked Adam if it was true, and he nodded which started both of them crying again. After an hour or so, Little Joe was exhausted, and Adam helped him pull off his clothes and pull on a nightshirt. Then he wanted Adam to stay with him so he lay down beside Little Joe until he fell into a fitful sleep. Then Adam did the same for Hoss tucking him in and sitting with him until he fell asleep nearly an hour later. They talked some but mostly Hoss cried, and Adam comforted him.

Once Adam had both boys sleeping, he walked down the stairs to find his father had not moved. Adam went outside, and the hands were asking what they should or could do. Adam told them that the next day would be a normal workday but the day after they would hold a service for Marie at graveside. He asked if two of the men could dig a grave near the lakeshore. They wanted to know where and Adam told them he would pick a spot the next day. Once everything was squared away outside, Adam went inside and sat next to his father who still wasn't moving.

"Pa, you need to go up to bed. I'll help you."

After getting Hoss to sleep, Adam had gone into his father's bedroom and put as much of Marie's clothing and other things out of sight as he could. He knew how difficult it was going to be for his father who had suffered in silence with Inger's death. Losing his third wife had seemed to unhinge Ben a little, and Adam was worried. For the next several months, Adam held the family and the ranch together. His father seemed to be nearly immobilized by the tragedy. Finally as the following spring arrived, Ben began to come back to the family and himself. One day as Adam prepared to go outside and give the men their jobs for the day, Ben told him that was not his job, and he went outside to discuss with the foreman what had to be done. He told Adam he needed to get back to his preparations for college, and they moved forward.

(sixteen years later)

Chapter 10

"Jiuming a! Mogui! Bu! Bu! Bu!" were words that Hop Sing heard as he was running and dodging seeking to escape, Hop Sing heard the cries but could do nothing to help. "Help! Devil! No! No! No!" echoed through the streets of Chinatown. Hop Sing had no weapon and was one small man facing dozens of armed men on horseback riding into Chinatown with their torches and guns. He had come to town to celebrate with his family the birth of another cousin. There were so few births because very few women came from China to live in the United States.

Until this night, Hop Sing's cousin had been a merchant albeit on a small scale and had come with his wife and children to pursue a dream. Now that dream was dead as his home was burning and the bodies inside were being immolated. They would have no graves and no children would ever come to honor their ancestors. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he realized the acrid smoke burning his eyes and stinging his throat smelled not only of wood and cloth but hair and flesh. It was a horrific smell, and he did not think this memory could ever be buried deep enough not to haunt his dreams.

Using the cover of darkness and the smoke, Hop Sing ran and then hid when he thought he was far enough from the mob to escape detection. In the morning, he emerged from his hiding spot and saw other survivors staggering around devastated by their losses and by the terror of the night before. Actually few had died, but many had been injured and all were traumatized.

Wondering where his friend, Sheriff Roy Coffee, was, Hop Sing walked tentatively into Virginia City proper. Few people were up and about and those who were turned away not only because of his race but because of their embarrassment over what other whites had done the night before while others stood by refusing to help. Most whites would never help a Chinese against a white in a dispute no matter how badly the Chinese person was being treated. There was no one at the Sheriff's office. Returning briefly to the Chinatown area, Hop Sing learned from other Chinese that both Roy and his deputy Clem had been injured the previous night trying to stop the mob that had been determined to commit mayhem.

Tension had been building for weeks between the white miners and the Chinese. The price of silver had plummeted which resulted in the closures of a number of mines. Others stayed open but let the white miners go but kept the Chinese miners working. To the mineowners, the economic strategy was obvious. They paid the Chinese miners less than half of what they paid the white miners, and Chinese miners rarely complained about long hours in difficult working conditions. There also was usually no wife and no children to compensate when a Chinese miner was killed. At the rock bottom price of silver, hiring Chinese miners was the only way to turn a profit. White miners didn't see any of that. To them, hundreds of whites had lost their jobs and had no way to support their families while Chinese miners who sent much of their money to China were still working. With the omnipresent racism of the time, it only took some alcohol and some demagoguery by politicians and other leaders to spark a race riot.

For the previous week, Sheriff Roy Coffee had been warning the people of Chinatown especially their leaders to take precautions. He was trying to keep a lid on the tensions but there were hundreds of men out of work and he had been afraid he wouldn't be able to keep the situation calm nor did he think he would be able to stop a mob action once it had started. Unfortunately Roy had been sure it would happen. The miners weren't like the ranchers and cowboys who lived here and might create some trouble on occasion. Miners moved from strike to strike, seldom purchased property, and tended to be far more racist than the usual settler in the west. With no commitment to the community and its well being, they tended to be far more difficult to keep in line. The riot the night before had exploded suddenly and before Roy could do anything much as those who led the uprising had hoped.

Now in the early morning hours, smoke hung over the city that was eerily quiet. Slowly more and more people emerged. The Chinese men who walked the streets of the devastated Chinatown were sorrowful as well as angry. They had had so little, and now most of them had even less. They suffered the effects of prejudice and discrimination daily with taunts, rough treatment, and low wages for long hours. Prejudice and discrimination had never before cost lives and the loss of property though.

By nine, Adam and Hoss Cartwright were in town. Word had reached them about what had happened, and the family was very concerned about their friend and Ponderosa cook, Hop Sing. Apprehensive as they saw the devastation of the Chinese community, both men were relieved when some of the Chinese recognized them and told them that they had seen Hop Sing that morning and that he was all right at least physically. Adam and Hoss headed to the livery stable thinking that Hop Sing would likely have gone there to get the carriage to return home. They did find him there, but Hop Sing was in a state neither of them had seen before.

"Hop Sing, can you hear me? Hop Sing?"

Silent and still, Hop Sing slowly looked up to see Adam's concerned face hovering just above his own. He reached out and grabbed Adam's arms, and then stood and wrapped his arms around his friend. Adam was surprised and looked at Hoss as if to ask what he should do.

"Don't look at me, brother. I ain't got no better idea than you on what to do. I feel so bad. So many done lost so much."

"Again. I have to hope that someday we can all get past this barbarism. All this happens because some cannot see the person because of the color. It is obscene."

As Hop Sing released him, Adam guided him to the carriage. Hoss got their carriage horse from the stable and hitched him up. Adam stayed next to Hop Sing to be there if he wanted to talk. The ride back to the Ponderosa was very quiet. Once there, Adam told Hop Sing to go to his room to rest.

"I make lunch."

"We can get by with a cold lunch. You need to get some sleep."

"What I need, you not have. I make lunch."

So Hop Sing made lunch and nothing more was said that day about the race riot. Over the next week, most of the young men left to sign on with the Central Pacific Railroad in California. The railroad company was paying double what the mines paid even though the Chinese workers again were paid less than the white workers. However, as more and more were hired, conditions had been improving and wages had increased. By the end of the month, the only Chinese left in Virginia City were the domestic servants like Hop Sing who lived in white homes, the laundrymen, and a few day laborers who did things like dig graves.

As the weeks had passed, Hop Sing had been much quieter and much grouchier than usual and the situation grew worse instead of better with time.

"Adam ya gotta talk with Hop Sing."

"Hoss, why do I have to talk with Hop Sing? What about you, or Pa, or even Joe?"

"Adam, you know if I talk with him, he'll think it's just because I want him to bake more pies or make more pork roast. If Joe talks with him, he'll be wondering if it's some joke or prank he's cooking up."

"Pa has been his friend longer than anyone. Pa's the one who first hired him."

"Adam, those two don't really talk though. One hollers, and the other one tries to find out what they really want in order to get the yelling to stop. You're the one Hop Sing talks with the most. He'll trust you and won't be thinking you're up to something. Besides he always brings up that you were the first one to ever say he was part of our family. That's real important to him, and you know it."

So it was agreed. The next morning after breakfast, Ben, Hoss, and Joe rode out to complete assigned tasks. Adam stayed in the ranch house and waited for Hop Sing to finish cleaning up after breakfast. Then he took the coffee he had been nursing and headed to the kitchen. He sat on a chair by the worktable and waited. Hop Sing finally let his curiosity get to him.

"Why you here? Why no work for you today?

"My job today is find out why you are so unhappy."

"I happy like always. I do my job. I make meals. I do laundry even one new clean shirt for number one son every day. I no complain."

"That's just it. You should complain. I'm sure there are times we do things we shouldn't, and you have always told us about them. Now you act like that's not important."

"Not important. I do job. Then I die. Then it over."

As Adam finished his coffee, he was thinking furiously although his demeanor remained calm. What were the hidden meanings behind those words? "You miss all the cousins who left to go work on the railroad. You only have us now and it's not enough."

"It enough and not enough."

"What do you want then? What can we do to make your life more worth living?"

"You cannot do it. Only I can do it, and I cannot do it."

That last part had Adam very puzzled. He looked down at the floor trying to decipher those statements. Hop Sing noticed how hard he was trying to understand and walked to his room returning with a letter that he handed to Adam. Adam opened the letter to find it was all in Chinese characters and that caused him to look up helplessly at Hop Sing.

"I understand a little Chinese that you have taught me, but I cannot read any of it."

"Family arrange marriage Hop Sing. Family want next generation of sons. Hop Sing love Cartwright sons but it not same."

"Well why don't you go ahead with the arranged marriage then?"

"Woman in China. Hop Sing must go China to marry. But Hop Sing cannot bring wife into country. Only merchants can bring wife into country. It is law. Only merchants can bring children into country. It is law. Hop Sing only poor servant. Not allowed for Hop Sing."

"That is a problem. Hop Sing, I understand. I long for a wife and children too. If there is a way to do this, I will do it. I promise you I will do anything I can for you. You are part of our family and you are our greatest friend. Let me think about this for a while and check into some things. If I can come up with a way to do this, I will let you know as soon as I think of something."

"Hop Sing very happy now. I cook best dinner ever for Mister Adam."

"Do me a favor and cook the best dinner ever for Mister Hoss. Life is going to be a lot more pleasant for everyone around here if my big brother gets a pork roast and pie for dinner."

Out by the branding corrals, Hoss suddenly stopped and looked to the ranch house.

"Dadburnit, that Adam did it again. I can smell pork roast and apple pie. He done got Hop Sing back to being the Hop Sing we remember."

Dinner was more pleasant than it had been for a month. Hop Sing actually smiled when he saw the plates were empty. Everyone praised the dinner and thanked him for his hard work. Hop Sing complained a little that Mister Hoss ate all roast pork so none was left for sandwiches the next day, but it was the usual banter they expected. Later that night and for the first time in a month, Hop Sing slept through the night and dreamed of China and a beautiful woman instead of screams and smoke.

A few weeks later, Adam stood before his father's desk: "Pa, I need to go to California."

"Oh, you 'need' to go to California. Listen, Adam, I know being cooped up here for the winter is difficult for you, and I know that you miss your friends and all the theatre and such in California, but this just isn't a good time for you to go traipsing off."

Controlling his temper because he could not afford to irritate his father at this point, Adam explained. "I am not 'traipsing off'. I've been checking into ways to get Hop Sing married, and I think I've found a way, but I need to go to California and consult confidentially with some people there to see if I can do it. It's not something that I can do in a telegram, and letters will take too long."

"Well, what is this plan of yours that needs all this consultation right when we're in the middle of spring roundup and branding? And you know we're only weeks away from the spring drive too! Is helping Hop Sing enough reason to dump all the extra work and responsibilities on your brothers?"

"In order for Hop Sing to bring a wife into the country, he has to be a merchant. Now if I can set up a company in California, and make him the owner, then he could go to China, marry, and return, and it would all be within the law."

"Adam, that may sound all wonderful in theory, but you would be sending Hop Sing into vast uncharted waters as far as the law here and in China is concerned. He is not an educated man, and working his way through the legal intricacies of all of this could be far too much for him. You know what they'll do to him in China if it's found out that he is not who he claims to be?"

"I know. He and I have talked of the beheadings that occur simply if a man does not have his queue any longer. They do seem a bit paranoid about any supposed threat of disloyalty, but I will do everything I can to make sure that he is ready for the challenge. Unlike many Chinese here, he can read and write and that would have been the greatest obstacle."

Thinking that he did not want to divulge the rest of his plan at this point, Adam waited to see if he had made any progress in convincing his father of his need to go now. He could see by his father's glower that was not likely. This was going to get a lot uglier than he had expected. Every time he talked of leaving the Ponderosa in the last couple of years, his father got morose as well as angry. He didn't want to leave his father in that state but was beginning to believe it was the only way he would ever be able to leave. He had every intention of going with Hop Sing to China, but he was still working out the best way to tell his family that. He was sure that blurting it out while arguing with his father was not the way, but lately his father had a way of jabbing him with barbs that might just make him say it that way.

"Adam, can you get back in a week? We really do need your help. The lumber mill and the timber camps are just getting organized. I need you to work out the map for marking trees and then take care of that."

Recognizing the huge concession his father had just made, Adam readily agreed to one week even though he knew it probably wasn't enough time. He nodded his agreement.

"Thanks, Pa. I'll get to that map tonight. Tomorrow I can go up and mark enough trees for them to work for several weeks at least. I'll leave in two days then if that's all right with you?"

Listening from the kitchen, Hop Sing was relieved. He and Adam had talked, and Hop Sing knew how important this trip to California was. Adam had a plan designed to accomplish what they wanted, but he needed legal advice as well as business advice to put the plan into motion. Because their plan hinged on fooling the authorities not only in China but in the United States as well, Adam did not want to commit any part of the plan to paper. He had friends he could trust to help him in something like this and none of them would accept a paper record of why they were doing what they were doing.

There was a lot of work to do that day. Joe was preparing to go out with a crew to round up some mustangs. Hoss and Adam were working with the hands to complete the spring roundup. Ben headed to town to meet with some potential buyers and work out deals at their lawyer's office. Dinner was lively with conversation over everything that had happened that day, and then Ben brought up Adam's request to go to California for a week.

"Now older brother, I know ya want ta help Hop Sing, but we got too much work to do right now. You need to stay here a might longer. It's gonna take a long time to do what you want ta do so how could a few weeks make much of a difference?"

"Hoss, I need to get the paperwork started. Chartering a company does take some time, but if I delay that means that Hop Sing has to wait that much longer. It wouldn't be fair to him to have raised his hopes and then dash them down like that."

"Dontcha think it's pretty much a fool's errand anyway. You're gonna convince two governments that Hop Sing went from being our cook to being a merchant in just a few months?"

"That's why I started putting Hop Sing's name on some of the stock I own. He has shares now in a number of enterprises here and in California. It won't be as implausible for him to sell those shares to start up a company."

"Son, that is a huge risk you are taking. You could lose all of that. Are you prepared to do that?"

"Pa, it's what I would do for any of you, and Hop Sing is family too. I have no worry about what I'm doing. It's the right thing to do."

"So you insist on doing this? I have to wonder if you'll listen to your friends if they tell you that you're chasing windmills again."

Now that definitely got Adam's ire rising. "I am not chasing windmills. I am helping a friend chase his dream. Have you forgotten about dreams, Pa? Seems to me you've told us a lot of people thought you were chasing a dream when you came out here with nothing and thought to build a great future. Well what would have happened if you had listened to all the discouraging words and criticism?" Adam stood, slammed down his napkin, and walked outside. More and more he wanted to tell them that he was leaving too. It would make the whole effort more realistic and the chance of success more plausible, but he still worried at their reactions that he expected to be negative. He needed to wait to tell them, but he was having trouble sleeping with the burden of all that he planned to do.

Following Adam outside, Hoss tried to make peace. "Adam, it ain't that I don't want Hop Sing to get his wife and have the family he dreams about. It's just that I'm scared for him. He'll be gone at least a year based on what you said about the travel, and I know I've heard you and Pa talking about people being beheaded there cause they made the wrong person angry. I can't bear the thought of that happening to Hop Sing. Adam, ifn he goes and doesn't come back, we'll never know what happened to him."

"What if I went with him? Then he would have help, and I could write and let you know what's happening."

"Now don't even go joshing about something like that. You know it would break Pa's heart. And that little brother of ours would be beside himself with thinking that somehow the arguments that you two have had somehow made ya leave. Nah, that just isn't a good idea neither."

Leaning on the corral fence rail, Adam looked up to the stars as he thought about how his task had just gotten so much more difficult. The one family member he had thought he could look to for emotional support wasn't thinking that way at all. He nodded only to accept that Hoss had his opinions, but Hoss took it to mean that Adam agreed with him. There would be some anger and disappointment when he found out that was not true.

Chapter 11

Over the next week, there was a lot of progress with the roundup and branding. Adam got his trees marked and traveled to California to get the paperwork started for his plan. And by the end of the week, Joe brought home a large herd of mustangs that were split up into corrals with their regular horses to settle them down. When Adam arrived home the following week, about all Joe could talk about was the big roan stallion he had captured.

Anxious to impress Adam with his work, Joe insisted the first morning that Adam was back that he had to come watch Joe break the roan. So after breakfast, Adam rode with Joe to the breaking corrals. Hoss and Ben decided that they wanted to see it too so they followed after them. At the corrals, the roan stood out. Tossing his head and moving restlessly among the other horses in the corral, he was hard to miss. Taller than most of their horses with a regal bearing and beautiful coat, he also had strong legs and powerful musculature. Up close, what Adam noted most were his crazy eyes. The horse was highly agitated at being locked in a corral, and the presence of the other horses had done nothing to calm him. If he had room, he probably would have made a run at jumping that fence. He still might was what Adam was thinking.

"Joe, you sure you want to try riding that roan? He's got that crazy look. He could be dangerous to ride."

"Well, older brother, you want to give him a try?"

"No, I'll leave the breaking to you. But I think this one could use a little more time to settle down before you try breaking him. He's a dangerous horse, Joe."

"I'll ride him to a standstill, you'll see, even if it takes a couple of tries."

It took the men over half an hour to get the roan in the chute. Even confined in there, he was agitated and wouldn't settle down. More and more, Adam was thinking that this horse was too dangerous to ride. Joe would not be dissuaded though, and settled on his back against all advice. The roan took off out of that chute as soon as it was opened. He bucked and jerked trying to dislodge Joe with everything he had. There was no standstill and there wasn't even a slowing down. Ben finally yelled for Joe to dismount. The men who were helping rode to the roan's side to help Joe get off. As Joe walked to the fence, all of the men there yelled a warning as the roan was charging him. Luckily Joe was fit and limber. He took a running start and vaulted the corral fence just as the roan got there with his nostrils snorting and front hooves pounding relentlessly into the dirt. For several minutes, the roan made it clear just how disappointed it was in not killing the human who had been on his back. The men in the corral got two lariats on the roan and forced him back into the holding corral.

"Tomorrow, I'm gonna break that roan if it's the last thing I do."

"Try to fight him to a standstill and it just might be the last thing you ever do."

"You're just getting too old to ride them until they quit. You're scared of that roan, aren't you?"

Irritated at the comments, Adam still tried to dissuade Joe from riding the roan. To Adam, that horse was not acclimating at all to being part of the herd of horses they had on the Ponderosa. They had him in a corral with a number of their best cow ponies, and he still had that crazy eyed look any time a person came near him. Tired of Adam's discouraging words, Joe stalked out of earshot. Ben walked over to try to calm his youngest.

"Older brother, you're just making him want to ride him more by telling him how it's impossible. He wants to prove you wrong."

"Well, I can hardly encourage him to ride him. He'd rush out there and do it right now. And now you tell me I can't tell him not to ride because it makes him want to do it more. Why don't you handle it? I'll keep out of it."

Hoss raised his hands in mock surrender. "Must be one of those cunning drum things you talk about."

Perplexed at first by Hoss' statement, Adam smiled. Yes, it is one of those conundrums."

The next morning, Adam was coming back from doing the count in the southeast pastures and decided to ride to the breaking corrals. He was apprehensive but wanted to see what Joe had decided to do. As he neared the corrals, he heard a lot of noise and yelling which made him suspect that Joe was going to try to ride the roan again. When he got to the corrals, he saw Joe by the chute but unable to get on the roan who was clearly too agitated to be ridden. Adam rode over to the chute to see if he could help. Unfortunately Joe saw it as a challenge fully expecting some remark from Adam, and he settled on the roan's back.

The three men helping in the chute told Joe not to ride the roan. Adam was frozen knowing that anything he said would be wrong. Joe told them to open the chute, and with one last objection, the man hesitated and swung the gate of the chute wide open. The roan shot out of the chute and it was clear he meant harm to the human on his back. Hoss and Ben rode up as Joe was being bucked hard as the roan slammed into the corral fence several times trying to unseat Joe. The next time the roan hit the fence, Joe flew from his back and into the fence and then over. Joe had tried to jump free but it had been too late for that. As men rushed into the corral to subdue the roan, the Cartwrights ran to Joe.

"See, Adam, see. I'm not afraid of any horse. I showed you, Adam, I showed you."

Cradling Joe's bleeding head in his lap, Ben looked at Adam. "What happened here?"

Hoss reinforced Adam's guilty feeling with his own emotional statement. "Ya didn't goad him into it, did ya?"

Adam felt the weight of guilt pressing down on him. He was thinking that if he had stayed away from the breaking corrals, Joe wouldn't have tried to ride the roan.

Lifting Joe carefully, Hoss carried him to Buck and handed him up to his father who pulled him close to his chest and rode slowly toward the house. Hoss followed after telling one of the hands to go to town to summon the doctor once more. Walking over to stand by Adam, the men who had been working the chute weren't sure what to say. Finally the man who had opened the chute under protest spoke.

"Weren't your fault. Durn fool kid was all fired up about taming that horse. Said he was gonna prove he could break horses better than you."

Nodding in appreciation, Adam gathered up the reins of Cochise and mounted up on Sport to lead Joe's horse back. When he got to the yard, Buck and Chubb were standing at the hitching rail. Adam went to get them too. He unsaddled, groomed, fed, and watered the four horses and rubbed down the tack before going inside. By then Doctor Martin's carriage was there, and Ben and Hoss were sitting by the fireplace. Neither acknowledged Adam's entrance so he walked to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Hop Sing said nothing so he could imagine what he had been told.

Sitting at the dining table, Adam sipped his coffee, but his stomach had turned sour. He wanted to explain to ease the tension, but he truly had a conundrum. He had done nothing wrong, but in trying to explain, he would reinforce the feeling of guilt. For if he had to explain, it would mean there was something to explain. It hurt that his father and his beloved brother would think that he would have willingly put his youngest brother in danger. It hurt even more being shut out of caring for him. He was thinking more than ever that leaving was a good option for him. A frantic knocking at the door grabbed everyone's attention. Adam went to the door.

"Some young Paiutes just attacked the Fuller lumber operation. Bunch of men were hurt, and one may die. We only got word a short time ago. Sheriff Coffee sent me out here to warn you."

"Someone needs to inform the hands and then ride to our lumber mill and then up to the timber camps to warn them. We need to make sure everyone is on guard." But the last thing that Ben wanted to do was to leave his youngest son's side. He looked at Hoss and then at Adam.

"I'll go." Adam grabbed his hat, coat, and holster and noted the silence that had greeted his statement. He walked out with the messenger and headed to the stable to saddle a horse. Soon after he found a number of the hands and informed them of what needed to be done because of the threat. Once he was confident that they would spread the word and keep rifles handy, he headed out to the lumber mill. He planned to ride up to the timber camps after that.

Adam had no trouble and made sure the men took adequate precautions. Then he turned to ride home. Preoccupied with worry about his youngest brother, he didn't notice the flitting movements in the trees above him. As Adam rode into a small clearing, he felt a blow to his side. Looking down he saw a feathered painted shaft protruding from his side before darkness overtook him, and he fell to the ground.

Up close, the Paiute young men recognized him and decided not to kill him and scalp him. One of them put his foot on Adam's hip and pulled his arrow free. Then they stripped him of his coat, hat, and holster. They pulled the saddle from his horse. They rifled through his saddlebags and found ammunition and a knife. One grabbed his rifle, and then the young men rode off cheering and yelling. They planned to ride to the nearest ranch, the Ponderosa, expecting to catch more men by surprise and get more booty.

At the Ponderosa ranch house, Doctor Paul Martin was finishing patching up Joe who awoke with the attention and the jostling of the doctor's work. He looked disoriented for a moment but then grimaced in pain and asked for his father. Paul stepped to the door and called for Ben. Hoss followed his father up the stairs, and both of them smiled to see that Joe was alert even if he still had quite a bit of pain.

"I showed Adam, didn't I, Pa? I showed him I wasn't afraid of any horse. He might be afraid to ride a horse like that roan, but I'm not."

"Joe, it wasn't right for Adam to push you into riding that horse."

"He didn't tell me to ride it, he told me not to. But all the hands were always bragging up Adam and the really tough horses he could break and how he doesn't do it much any more but he could. I wanted to prove to them and to Adam that I was just as tough and an even better horse breaker. You heard him, yourself. He said he wouldn't ride the roan cause it was too dangerous. He was afraid of that horse, but I wasn't. Where is he anyhow?"

"Ah, some young Paiute are out raiding, and he rode to the lumber mill and the timber camps to warn them and have them be on guard."

"Darn, no matter what I do, he's got to go do something else I ain't done. How many men did he take with him?"

"Ah, he went by himself."

"Well, that wasn't so smart now, was it? Be sure to tell him that cause you sure would let me know if I did something like that. Course Sport can outrun any of them Paiute ponies any day."

"He's not riding Sport. He had him out all morning doing counts to get ready for the drive, and he took another pony."

"Is he coming back today?"

There was no chance to answer that question as gunfire erupted outside. Dropping low and drawing their pistols, Ben and Hoss edged to the window telling Joe to lie down. Doctor Martin huddled next to the bed. Peering over the windowsill, they could see the hands engaged in a firefight with Paiutes. It was over rather quickly. The Paiute had been thinking to catch more men unprepared and thought they would scatter the hands with the surprise of their attack. Instead the hands had been prepared with their rifles within reach.

Wanting desperately to know what had happened when the gunfire ceased, Joe called out and Hoss answered. "Those Paiute raiders ain't gonna be causing anybody else any more trouble anywhere." Electing to let the hands handle it, Ben and Hoss were very surprised when Hop Sing suddenly appeared at the door to Joe's bedroom.

"Men say go outside. It important."

Wondering what could be so important to take him from his injured son's side, and leaving Doctor Martin to sit with Joe, Ben went to see why he was wanted and Hoss went with him. Outside they were summoned to the side of the stable.

"We don't need to see the bodies."

"Mr. Cartwright, this time I think you do."

Walking past the man who had been speaking to look at the bodies, Ben's knees went weak, and Hoss had to grab him to stop him from falling. One of the Paiute was wearing Adam's hat festooned with feathers and now splattered with blood. Another had Adam's coat that had been painted with signs. A hand walked up and handed Adam's holster with pistol and his rifle to Ben. The only thoughts now were to wonder where Adam was and whether he was still alive.

Up on the mountain not far from the second timber camp, Adam slowly regained consciousness. He felt leaden and severe pain was radiating from his left side. He rolled slowly to his right side and crawled slowly to a tree edging up until he could lean back against the trunk. He laboriously removed his boots and then his socks. Using only his right hand, he still had to stop often and do his best to hang onto consciousness because he was being stabbed repeatedly by sharp pains in his left side. He knew he was bleeding too much to survive, and unless he could slow the bleeding, he had no chance. He pulled his boots back on after he removed his socks. Folding each sock over three times, he made two thick pads. He then worked to remove his shirt which he folded until he had a long black bandage. He worked his improvised bandage over his shoulders and down his back. Then he placed one of his pads on the exit wound and pulled the ends of the shirt until it held that pad in place. Almost losing consciousness with that action because he had to use his left hand, he had to smile for it had all seemed so simple when he had thought about what he had to do. He took the second pad and placed it over the entrance wound before tying the shirt to hold both in place. Using his left hand to help tie the bandage was the last thing he could do. He fell back against the trunk. He still had two major problems. He was cold and there was a chance of predators. He could do nothing about either for his life was in God's hands now. He said a prayer and then blood loss and shock robbed him of consciousness again.

It was dusk before the Paiute were secured to the backs of horses to be returned to their tribe. Some hands took them into Virginia City to allow the authorities to do that. They would be able to see the road in the moonlight so it wasn't a difficult task. Finding Adam was far more of a challenge. He had likely gone to the lumber mill first. Ben was leading a group that would follow the road and search for him. Hoss was taking another group overland to the timber camps. They would not have a road to follow but at least had moonlight or they would have had to travel at a snail's pace. Ben had explained to Hop Sing what had happened, and he had supplies ready for them by the time they were leaving.

As the groups rode out, they could hear the howl of wolves in the distance. They sounded like they were on the hunt and closing in on their prey. All the men said a quick silent prayer that Adam was not the object of the hunt.

Awakening to the sound of wolves howling, Adam was disoriented. It took him several minutes to remember what had happened and where he was. Then his mind cleared even more as the adrenalin of fear gripped him. He had no weapons and wasn't even sure he could stand. If the wolves came at him like this, his midsection would be torn open in seconds. He looked above him and saw branches where he could be safe but had no idea how he could climb up there. He did see some massive boulders near him. Struggling to his feet with the aid of a stout branch that had been near him, he moved to the boulders at an extremely slow pace but he could not afford to fall at this point. Step by slow step, he made his way to the boulders and found a crevice between two especially large ones. There was a rock wall behind them. He worked his way into the crevice and kept the stout branch in his right hand. He evaluated his position. He had a relatively puny weapon and was growing weaker rapidly as the bleeding had started again. For what seemed like an hour, he heard the wolves and lots of other noise he could not understand. He prepared to fight, but the face and eyes he saw next were his brother's. Then he saw nothing more as blackness took him.

Two days later, Doctor Martin was again at the ranch house to check on Adam. He was a bit dismayed that Adam had not yet awakened fully. Joe said he could wake him.

"Adam, hey Adam, wake up, will ya? Sheesh, you always have to do me one better. You even have to get hurt worse than me."

Even with a pounding headache, that high pitched voice penetrated Adam's consciousness. He had heard his father's deep tones and Hoss' gentle voice earlier many times. Each time those voices had soothed him and let him rest peacefully. Now this irritating whine was pulling him to the surface where his head pounded, his side ached, and his stomach roiled. He wanted the voice to stop, but the only way to do it apparently was to come to full consciousness with all its attendant discomfort.

"See, Pa, see. I told you I could get him to wake up. C'mon, Adam, talk to me."

"Shut up!" Though his voice was hoarse and weak, Adam's words were still clear.

"Hey, I'm the one who got you to wake up. Doc said you needed to wake up. You could be nicer to me."

"Shut up, please!" The emphasis on the please was apparent too.

Standing at the foot of the bed, Ben and Hoss smiled. That sounded just the way they expected a hurt Adam to sound: perturbed to be in pain and in bed, and irritated by Joe. Doctor Martin shooed Joe away then and took his spot on a chair next to Adam.

"I'm sorry I had to subject you to that, Adam, but it's been two days and you did need to wake up. I want you to drink something now. Do you think you can do that?"

With Adam's slight nod, Paul signaled that he needed help. Ben sat on Adam's right side and slid an arm behind him to help shift him into a more upright position. As he did so, Hoss slid some pillows behind his brother. Adam grimaced with the movement but remained conscious. Paul was relieved by that. He tipped a cup of water to Adam's lips letting him take sips until the cup was empty.

"We've been able to get you to swallow a spoonful of water now and then, but that wasn't enough with the blood loss. You need to get as much fluid in you as you can tolerate. We should also clean you up and change the linens. I put clean bandages on you before Joe woke you. I can give you something for the discomfort while we do this?"

Getting a negative reaction from Adam as expected, the men worked together to bathe him as he kept his eyes shut tight. They all knew how terribly embarrassed he was every time he was so hurt or so sick he couldn't take care of his basic needs himself. Working as fast as they could, they next rolled Adam onto his right side, rolled up the soiled linens beneath him, and placed a clean sheet. Then they rolled him onto his back, pulled the soiled linens away to his right before pulling the clean sheet that way and tucking it in. As soon as they placed a clean sheet and a blanket over Adam, he relaxed for to him, the worst was over. With a weak voice, he made a request.

"Now can someone tell me what happened? I don't seem to remember much."

Taking the chair next to the bed, Ben told the story from the attempts to break the roan to the Paiute raid on the ranch and the subsequent search for Adam. When he finished, Adam was pensive.

"Why did those boys do it? Things have been quiet lately."

"It seems some of the older warriors were taunting the youth that they were not men because they had never made war on their enemies. With that smallpox outbreak they had when hunting parties were out last fall, there were also not enough women for them to marry. It all just blew up when they got hold of some whiskey from an itinerant trader and started this rampage. It's all settled down now, and more Paiute families have to mourn their dead."

"Yes, the Paiute lose again. I guess it is the impossibility of warriors maintaining peace. It is a sad dilemma for them."

All of the men were quiet thinking about that.

"What about the roan?"

"Hoss took it up to the open lands well north of here and released it. You were right. That horse would never settle down to life on a ranch. Sometimes there is no good solution to a situation, and you do the best you can do."

"Another cunning drum."

"What?"

"Hoss calls it a cunning drum when doing one thing is wrong and so is the other option."

Smiling, Ben looked at Hoss who was beaming in pride at Adam who had a half smile. Joe nodded as well and decided he needed to make peace with Adam as well.

"I know what you mean too. I thought that roan would be a great stud for our herd. He's a great horse. But I saw how much he relaxed as soon as he was out of that corral. He trotted along behind Chubb like he knew where he was going. You were right about the roan, and I'm sorry I said all those things to you. I guess being brave doesn't mean taking stupid chances with a dangerous horse. I guess I knew that already but I wanted you to be proud of me. Losing that roan is a loss to our breeding program, but maybe in a few years, we'll get some of his offspring when we round up mustangs."

"That blow to the head must have had a greater impact than we thought. You seem to be a different person. What have you done with Joe?"

Grabbing a pillow to throw, Joe was stopped by three men who yelled at him. Acknowledging their fierce looks, Joe dropped the pillow. Adam was grinning though. This was the brother he knew and loved. He started to chuckle but stopped abruptly with a sharp pain in his side.

"I think my patient needs some quiet time. Now let's all get out of here and let him rest. Adam, rest or read: those are your choices." But Adam had already closed his eyes and never saw Paul's stern look or heard any further instructions.

It was a difficult recovery for Adam with bouts of fever and nausea over the next week, and then some lingering problems with nausea for the next month. Adam missed the spring drive for the first time since he had returned from college. He wasn't able to ride for two months, and when he did, he was exhausted after only a short time in the saddle. On that first day riding, Hoss saw him turn toward home and followed him there as soon as he could. He found Adam in the stable standing with his hand hanging onto the pommel and his head was resting against Sport. He was pale and sweating.

"Brother, you done tried to do too much too soon. Here, I'll take care of Sport. You just go set on that hay bale over there."

"Maybe I'm a good actor and just did that to get out of my chores."

"Ain't nobody can act that good. Now you jest rest easy there. Pa sees you like that and he's gonna have you back in that bed."

For the next few weeks, Hoss and Joe covered for Adam so that their father never knew how difficult returning to work was for him. He took a lot of breaks while working, sitting in the shade and fighting the weakness and nausea that plagued him whenever he tried to do anything difficult. Gradually his strength began to return, and he made plans to travel to California to continue his plan for Hop Sing. He was gone to California on one of those trips when Hoss went to the breaking corrals to watch Joe working with the last of the mustangs. He was riding a chestnut stallion that afternoon. He had ridden him to a standstill weeks before, and wanted to finish with him. He had already taught the horse some of the basic moves a cow pony needed to know and was impressed with him.

"Wow, that sure is a pretty horse, Joe."

"He is handsome. He learns faster than any of the others. He's strong, smart, and fast. He's also cantankerous, bossy, and hates to be told what to do. You gotta push hard to get him to do anything he doesn't want to do. He'll try to nip you any chance he gets. Still, he's probably the best horse that I've broken since I started doing this."

"What you gonna do with him?"

"I think I'll give him to Adam."

Hoss started to chuckle then. "What's his name?"

"Cunning Drum."

Hoss' booming laugh could be heard at the ranch house, and Ben turned to look toward the breaking corrals wondering what was so funny.

Chapter 12

"Adam, ya ain't listened to none of what we got to say. I don't want Hop Sing gone for a year and into danger. He might never come back. He's gonna be so far away, we won't be able to help him ifn he needs us. Heck we won't even know if he needs us."

"Hoss, I have listened, but I don't agree with you. Hop Sing wants to do this, and he feels he needs to do this. Don't you remember how unhappy he was when he thought he couldn't go to fulfill his family's wishes? It is very important to him to have a son. He needs to get married, and the only wife for him is in China."

"Aw, Adam, he woulda got over it. It's just gonna be even harder if he doesn't go now that you filled his head with all them ideas."

Not yet ready to tell Hoss that Hop Sing would not be traveling alone, Adam could only repeat much of what had already been said. It would have probably ended there except their father came outside when he heard the loud voices.

"I think what Hoss is saying is that we have raised legitimate concerns, and nothing seems to be able to sway your thinking at all. You haven't asked us for any advice or help."

"Perhaps that's because the only advice I get is not to do it. Well I am going to do it."

"What if I forbid you from using any Ponderosa funds? Then what will you do? What if I tell Hop Sing he can't go? Then what?"

"I wasn't planning on using any Ponderosa funds. I've already liquidated most of my investments. That's what I'm using. I won't borrow against my interest in the Ponderosa either so you have no fear that what I do will jeopardize your holdings. What if I fail? Will I be welcome here when I get back?"

"Well, of course you will be welcomed back. You're only going to California. You go there all the time and we welcome you back. You're my son. This is your home." Suddenly Ben got a sinking feeling and saw that Adam realized he had said too much. "You're planning to go with him, aren't you?"

Dropping his head and tugging at this ear gave the answer before he said it. "Yes, I'll be going with him. He can't handle all the intricacies of business negotiations. He will be the president of the company and I will be the person designated to handle all the business. In China, Hop Sing will do the talking and the writing as needed. The rest of the time, I'll be in charge."

"You planned all of this without telling us. When were you planning on telling us? When you were packing your bags and getting ready to leave?"

"I wanted to tell you many times, but every time this subject comes up, there are complaints about not having a cook for a year, or it being so far away, or any number of other things. We can't seem to discuss this in a rational way."

"Maybe that's because you made up your mind long ago, and nothing we say matters. Well do what you will, we'll manage without you." Ben walked back into the house. He had to hope that Adam would not leave, but in his breaking heart, realistically, he knew he would.

Hoss was more direct. "You don't seem to care what this is gonna do to Pa. You could tell just by what he said and how he looked, that his heart is breaking just thinking on you leaving. When you was hurt and lying in that bed when we didn't know ifn you would ever wake up, Pa was sick with worry for you. He sat there and prayed and never slept nor nothing. Now you want to be gone for a year or more, and you don't even seem to care what that is gonna do to Pa."

"Hoss, I do care. That's why I hadn't said anything. I couldn't bring myself to tell him and see the hurt. That was the hardest part. The next hardest part was telling you. When I was away at college, you were the one I missed most. You were always there for me. I loved you from the moment you were born. You're my best friend, and I need you to tell me that you understand. Somehow I have to be able to explain it to you so you understand."

"Adam, I'm sorry, but I don't understand. I don't know that there's anything you can say that will make this any easier for me. Just seems so selfish to me."

"Hoss, you know how I get sometimes. I want new challenges. I want to see new things. I want to see new lands."

"See, there ya go. You're only considering what you want."

"Hoss, I have a yearning to go. If I never get the chance, I will become more and more unhappy here. I love my family and I love the Ponderosa, but sometimes it feels like I have a weight holding me here. It feels more like a cage than a paradise. I know you don't feel it, but I do. Maybe if I get to work out a little of this wanderlust, I can be happier living here. I'll have seen exotic places and met exotic people."

"Seems to me that you did a lot of that when you was gone them four years for college."

"That was something I needed too, but I was a boy, and now I'm a man who has needs and yearnings that I have to satisfy. I'm sorry you don't understand, but it's the way I am."

Turning abruptly, Hoss also went to the house. Adam knew that his emotions were ready to boil over and he needed to leave before he said something he shouldn't or let the tears fall. He wouldn't be comfortable with either at this time so he had to go. Adam stood quietly wishing that he had handled the whole situation better, but he also knew there probably wasn't a way that would have caused any less hurt. As he stood there, Joe came up behind him startling him for a moment.

"You can let me have it too. I'm assuming you heard?"

"I heard, but I agree that you have to go."

Taken by surprise by that, Adam looked to Joe as if to ask why. Joe had to smile then even though his heart was heavy too. It wasn't often that anyone surprised Adam, and he was always proud of himself when he was able to do and do it so effectively if Adam's wide-eyed look was any indication.

"I'm not that six-year-old boy who was mad because you went to college, and then resentful four years later when you came home. I understand what you're saying. I think you're a lot like Pa. You need to have a dream. It inspires you and challenges you. Hoss likes being in charge of the cattle and taking care of the land. I enjoy the horses, and I get plenty of challenges with all of that. You've always needed more. You're the one who always volunteers to hunt down a puma or a stray wolf that's bothering our herds. You're the one who wants to work out business deals with people we've never met in states where we've never been."

"And you point is what?"

"Well, I thought it would be clear to you. All of those things you like to do help all of us. The Ponderosa wouldn't be what it is without all the changes you pushed all of us into. Heck, Pa fights you tooth and nail every time, but even Pa has to admit that those windmills and the lumber mill have been great for us. Running my mustangs with the Ponderosa horses for a few weeks until they calm down has helped me with the horse breaking even though I thought it was a waste of time when you told me to try it."

"So you think this trip will be good for all of us?"

"Heck, yeah. You need to travel and get some of that out of your system. And Hop Sing needs to go see if he can follow his family's wishes. And I would give anybody odds that you're gonna bring back something that is gonna make the Ponderosa and this family better off."

"Thank you, Joe. What you said really helped."

"Hey, Adam, I heard that some of those islands you're gonna stop at have dancing girls who don't wear nothing above the waist except some flowers maybe. If you were to bring your sketchbook and sketch a few of those for me, I wouldn't mind at all. Even better, you could bring one of those dancing girls home with ya, and I'd let her dance for me every night."

"Joe, would just the sketches be alright though?"

"Well I would be a might disappointed, but I'd get over it."

Laughing, the two brothers walked to the stable to get some work done. Later when they went in the house for dinner, Hoss and Ben acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened although both were quieter than usual, and there was little banter at the dinner table. Adam thought it best if he waited a day to tell them that he was leaving for California in a week to make arrangements for purchasing a ship for the company he had created. Then he would need to hire a ship's captain and together they could hire on a crew. He was hoping that within a month, they could leave. Storms tended to be worse in the fall that was rapidly approaching. If they could sail out by August, they could hopefully be in the Sandwich Islands for the first leg of the journey by September. Then if the winds were favorable, they would head to China.

In just over a week, Adam was to meet with the attorneys in San Francisco to complete the chartering of his new company. Hop Sing was listed on the documents as the president, but Adam was the owner because under California law, Hop Sing could not own property. So the warehouse that they needed was already in Adam's name as were the stacks of goods already being delivered there to fill their ship when they had one. Even chartering a corporation would have been impossible except that Adam was the majority owner. After today, he had an idea who the third owner would be. He already had signed up Roy Coffee as an investor. Under California law, there had to be at least three shareholders for the corporation to be chartered and one of them had to be a resident of the state. There had to be three officers of the corporation as well. Hop Sing and Adam would be two but a third was needed. Adam had purchased a very small home in San Francisco to establish a residency there. He needed to be living in that house by the day the charter was to be issued. Now Joe was looking like the best bet for that third investor as well as the third officer whom he needed. Adam decided he would ask Joe the next day after church services. He would make the same offer to his father and Hoss but didn't expect a positive response.

The next morning, the four Cartwrights attended church services together. Adam realized it would be the last time he was here in this church for probably at least another year. He said a prayer then for his father and then one for each of this brothers for God to keep them safe until his return. He had never considered before that he could return in a year to find a family member gone. They lived in a place where danger lurked in many places and in many guises. There were many possibilities for accidents in ranch work and on drives. There were threats from too from diseases, storms, wild animals, and sometimes people who acted like animals. Life could be so unpredictable. A neighbor had recently died from a toothache. He had ignored it for a long time until the pain was so severe he went to see Doctor Martin. Unfortunately there was an infection and it spread to his brain and killed him. Nothing could be done for him, and he had left a wife and four children. There was a very good foreman on that ranch so it was likely the family would do all right, but the suddenness and unpredictability of life out here was driven home by that unexpected death.

After church services, as the Cartwrights rode home, Adam said he was going to take a ride to the lake. Joe correctly surmised why and asked to ride with him. Adam was relieved because not only would he get the serenity of the lake, he would get a chance to talk with Joe about the corporation. When the lake came into view, Adam pulled his horse to a halt. He had first seen this view as a small boy. It had taken his breath away, and even though his father intended to travel to California, Adam had asked him why after they had seen this. They had settled here temporarily then but it had become permanent. It was where his father's dream had taken root and grown. Adam wondered where his dream would take root and grow, or whether he would return here with a dream that had withered and died. Joe was quiet beside him for as long as Joe could be quiet anywhere.

"You're gonna miss this, and you're gonna miss us. But you need to remember that you are part of this land forever, and part of us too. You'll be back."

"Joe, I wish I could be as sure of things as you are. I worry. Sometimes I worry too much, but I know what Pa and Hoss are saying about this, and they're right too. It is far away, and lots can happen. None of you will be able to help because none of you will even know we're in trouble. You might never hear from us again, and you might never know what's happened or what's become of us."

Sobered by those thoughts, Joe stood and watched as the sun made the lake glow. "Adam, it's a lot like this lake. We see it one way when the sun is like this, and then it's like it changes color when the sun is at a different angle, but it's still the same lake. Wherever you are and whatever you do, it will still be you in our hearts cause you'll be our brother no matter what happens."

"Thanks, Joe. You've been a big help to me in the last two days."

"Well, if you'll ride with me, I got one more thing I'd like to do before you go."

"All right, and I have a couple of favors to ask of you."

The two brothers mounted up and rode slowly as Adam explained what he needed. Joe was agreeable until Adam got to the next part.

"It would mean you have to be in San Francisco a week from Monday. I have to be there before that point to establish my residency. You would only need to be there to sign the papers."

"Pa's gonna be upset with you leaving. I was thinking he would need Hoss and me to bolster him a bit. I just don't know about leaving him at that time."

"That's all right. I can find someone else when I get to San Francisco."

"Whoa, I didn't say I wouldn't do it. I just want to find a way to take care of Pa too. Say, maybe he could join us there to see what you've done. Maybe it would make him feel better to help you buy a ship or something like that."

"Joe, I would like that very much, but Pa is dead set against me doing this, and tries to talk me out of it at every opportunity. It seems like a fool's errand to try to get him to change his mind."

"Aw, it ain't so much that he's against it. It's just that he can't bear the thought of you going. I've seen how he is when you're gone away just on a business trip. He stays up later at night, and he's always at the house like he's waiting for news. When you were lost in the desert that time, he didn't hardly sleep at all. He worries about you, but he can't show it so he does what he can. Maybe you should ask Pa and Hoss to be officers of your corporation too."

At Adam's surprised look, Joe shrugged. "Can't hurt to ask." But of course, it could and did.

"You want me to sign on to your fool's errand? You must have finally lost the rest of your common sense. I never thought to see you get involved in a crazy scheme. Joe, I could believe. I could believe Hoss could get roped into one too. I never thought my well-educated sensible son could be so headstrong in pursuit of such a ridiculous goal. You have to admit there must be a better way to accomplish what you want to do."

"Tell me a better way, Pa. Come up with a plan that does not involve traveling to China and does not make a merchant out of Hop Sing. With the way the laws are now especially in California, how could we do this?"

"His wife-to-be could have gone to Mexico. They could have been married there and entered the country through Arizona which has no such restrictions."

"Just one problem with that. Unmarried Chinese women do not travel unescorted. Who in China would escort a woman so that she could travel to a foreign country and marry the domestic servant on a ranch? Don't you think I thought through all the scenarios I could imagine? Nothing else works except Hop Sing going to China and marrying this woman there."

"Well I won't give my blessing to this idea of yours. I can't."

Adam grabbed his hat and walked outside. Knowing that he wouldn't be riding out because he didn't take his gunbelt, Joe followed after a few comments.

"He's got a dream, Pa. You had a dream once. How did you feel about the people who tried to stomp that dream into the dust? Wait, your family gave you their blessing and prayers that you would find your dream. Why can't you do that for Adam? You knew as well as any of us that he would leave someday. This way, he says he's coming back. If you force him to stay this time, he'll still leave sometime, and then maybe he won't come back at least for a very long time."

In the stable, Joe found Adam standing beside the stallion he had gifted to him that afternoon. Adam had said it was too much and he would be gone anyway, but Joe had insisted. Adam had chuckled at the horse's name, and said he would call him Drum. He was rubbing the horses neck, and caressing its cheek. Already the two seemed to have a bond. Sport snorted a few times letting his displeasure at being ignored be known.

"I'll get to you, boy. I have to let our newest stable mate get comfortable here first."

"He really likes you."

"I like him, Joe. He's a lot like me and a lot like Sport. I guess you already knew that though. Will you take care of these guys for me while I'm gone?"

"I was wondering if you and I could ride the two of them to San Francisco. It would take longer to get there probably, but it would be a good ride. I could bring them both back here after we get that paperwork taken care of."

With teary eyes, Adam pulled Joe into a hug. It was so unexpected, that Joe actually resisted a bit at first until he realized what was happening. Then he hugged his brother.

"Joe, thank you. But I don't think we can take that ride. Hop Sing is nervous enough. I don't want him to have to take the trip on the train by himself. Besides with the tensions the way they are, I'm not sure he would be safe traveling alone. And you know how uncomfortable he would be riding that many days on horseback so he can't do that either."

"You can ride him for the next few days until we leave then. What day are we leaving?"

"Friday. I'll make the arrangements. Do you want a hotel room in San Francisco or do you want to stay at my house?"

"You have a house?"

"I had to do that to establish residency to charter the corporation. It's small but it has two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a parlor. It's all I need. You'll be welcome to use it anytime you're in San Francisco. It's on Russian hill, so it's a pretty nice neighborhood."

"It's really gonna happen, isn't it?"

"Yeah, Joe, it really is."

On Monday, Adam went to town to get some tickets for the trip, and to finalize all arrangements with the bank. As he was walking back to get his horse which was tied near the train station, he saw several men accosting a couple. The man was being pushed around and the woman was being held by one of the men. Adam hurried his pace to go help.

"Hey, let her go!" Adam made it clear from his stance that he would draw if necessary.

"Oh yeah, Cartwright, what you gonna do about it? There's four of us and there's one of you. You think you can shoot all of us?"

"No, but I can be sure to shoot you. How many others will be skill and luck. You want to try it to see how that works out for you?"

"You damn Cartwrights always messing in other people's business, and always taking the coloreds' side like this trash against good white folk. I'll pay you back someday for this, you'll see, I'll pay you back!"

The ruffians withdrew then shoving the man to the dirt and the woman as well. Adam went to assist the couple. As he helped the woman to her feet and then the man, he introduced himself.

"I am sorry to meet under such circumstances. I'm Adam Cartwright. There's been too much of that kind of thing around here."

"Thank you, Mr. Cartwright. My name is Hannibal Jefferson and this is my wife Mabel."

"I'm just Adam. Now what did those men mean by calling you colored?"

Wrapping an arm around his wife, Hannibal turned to Adam. He expected to see the look of disdain that he so often saw when people learned his background. He and his wife had almost secured employment here at a restaurant until those former Confederate soldiers had walked in and identified him. Now he expected that they would have to move on to try to find a community where they could live without harassment. But this tall man in black clothing had rescued them and deserved the truth. Adam waited patiently thinking the shock of their treatment had made the man unable to answer immediately.

"I am a black man according to my birth certificate. My wife is white. Miscegenation laws in Louisiana forbid our marriage, but we went north until we reached Wisconsin where we were legally married. Those men did not like that."

"Black? You're no darker than I am. You might even be a bit lighter."

"I was born in Louisiana which goes by the one drop rule. I am one eighth black therefore I am black, and all my children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren will be black."

"Well that's ridiculous. And it was that that made those men harass you?"

"Yes, and it's all right if you don't want to be seen with us now. We're used to it."

"You don't know me, but I have to tell you if anyone who knew me said that, I would be very angry. It isn't color that makes any person. Now, is there anything else I can do to be of service?"

"Adam, my husband and I were looking for work. We are almost down to our last penny, but no one will hire us because of our mixed marriage. I'm going to have our first baby soon, and we have no money and no home. If you know of someplace that needs a cook or two, that would help us so much."

"Cooks! You're cooks?"

"Yes, does that mean you know of an opportunity for us?"

"Ma'am, I have a great opportunity for you. Do you have transportation like a wagon?"

"Yes, we do, but we can't pay the livery bill so he won't release our horse to us."

"I'll take care of that. You just have to cook a meal tonight, and if it's good enough, you'll have employment for the next year. What's your best dish?"

"Jambalaya, but I don't think that I could find the ingredients here. Next best would be pork fillets in wine sauce with roasted potatoes and green beans with hot spiced applesauce on the side."

"That's perfect! Now let's go to the stable and get your horse. We're all heading out to the Ponderosa."

"What's this Ponderosa?"

"The biggest ranch in Nevada, and it just so happens that they are in desperate need of a cook, and one of the men in the family loves roast pork! You will audition for the job this evening."

So Adam got the Jeffersons to the ranch and introduced them to Hop Sing. He told Hop Sing to take the night off and go visit relatives if he wanted. Hop Sing wanted to stay to see how well the couple did with the cooking, so he and Adam cooked up a little surprise for the family. Hop Sing served the dinner later, and as Hoss and Ben told him what a wonderful job he had done, he looked to Adam to intercede.

"Hop Sing didn't cook tonight. Hannibal, come on out here with your wife." As the couple came into the dining room, Adam introduced them. "They need a job. You can tell how well they cook. I told them this was an audition, and that if you approved, then you could hire them. It's up to you now."

Ben was taken aback by the idea, but Hoss and Joe immediately seconded the idea so their father agreed. "Well, Hannibal, it appears you are hired. There's a room off the kitchen for you but our present cook is still using it. You can use the guest bedroom right here until he leaves. As of today, you're on the payroll."

"Sir, can I ask how much we will be paid?"

"A dollar per day, and room and board."

"Pa, they have a horse and wagon."

"And we will stable your horse and feed it."

"Thank you, sir, that is most generous."

"It's the standard pay around here. Now there will be bonuses for additional work, and we'll work out the details of that later."

On Friday, Adam with Joe and Hop Sing left for San Francisco. Ben and Hoss wished them well, but the underlying sentiments were all too obvious from their body language and expressions. Adam had hoped that his leave taking would have softened their opposition enough to truly wish him well but it wasn't to be. He waved and turned quickly back into the railroad car so his father and brother would not see the tears in his eyes. Joe and Hop Sing did but refrained from saying anything. They knew that Adam was hurting far worse than his father or Hoss knew, but Adam would never let anything like that stop him from doing what he believed he had to do.

In Reno, the group made the transfer to the train to California, and from that point on began to discuss what they would do in San Francisco and all three were looking forward to Monday and the momentous occasion of signing the documents that would make them the owners of a corporation. Immediately after that was done, Adam planned to look over some ships that were for sale, and he asked Joe if he wished to help him with that. Joe agreed he could spend a day or two doing that before he headed home. He did want to extend this time with his brother. It had been perhaps one of the best weeks with his oldest brother that he had ever had, and he was reluctant to see it end.

On Monday, the paperwork was processed expeditiously despite Adam's fears that Hop Sing being there and an officer of the corporation would be a problem. Apparently among wealthier investors, partnering with a wealthy Chinese man was fairly common and aroused no suspicion. Then the three of them began a search for a vessel to buy. Joe was amazed at Adam's knowledge of ships.

"Four years living with Grandpa Stoddard and working with him in the summers taught me a lot. Design is something I have always loved too so I have been reading about the newest ship designs for years. This is the first chance I've had to put that knowledge to any real use though."

By late Tuesday, Adam put in an offer on a ship. They had looked at twenty vessels and gone back to the first one they had seen because they had found none as good as that. It needed some minor repairs but was otherwise in good order. Hop Sing was staying with relatives and would not be part of the hiring process so he told Adam he would be ready to leave whenever the ship was ready. Adam reminded Hop Sing that he was to go to a tailor and have clothing made that was suitable for a prosperous Chinese merchant. He was not to even bring any of his old clothing on the ship.

That night, Joe and Adam went to a nice club and had a few drinks afterwards as they reminisced about their lives together. In the morning, Joe planned to leave. Adam told him that he wished he could be there on the dock when their ship sailed, and Joe said he would if he could get their Pa and Hoss to come too. Not expecting that to happen, Adam gave a heartfelt goodbye hug to his youngest brother the next morning, and then headed out to find a ship's captain with whom he could begin to hire a crew. His first interview was with a captain who had been recommended to him by a friend.

"And why should I sign on with a new company and a ship with which I am unfamiliar and owners who have no knowledge of the sea or of trading?"

"Because you will become a part owner after the first voyage if you make it successful, and you will teach me and the president of the company all that you know about the sea and the China trade. We have enough resources to hire the crew you want, and we already have a shipload of goods in our warehouse destined for the Sandwich Islands where we can pick up cargo for China, and then do the same on the return. We will have four ports of call on one voyage in which to make profit that you will share in if you take the job."

Impressed with Adam's ability to lay out his case succinctly with all the major points emphasized. He thought briefly and then nodded. Adam smiled. His friend had said that this was a man who liked to explore and had a curiosity about that things that would match Adam's. The two men shook hands. Adam pulled a standard contract form from inside his coat and laid it on the table. There were two addendums transferring a ten percent ownership of the ship to the captain after a successful first voyage as measured by standards that were specified and with a ten percent share of gross profits from each port of call named in the ship's manifest. The corporation's lawyer had reviewed the terms Adam wanted and drawn the contract up to those specifications.

"What if there are no gross profits?"

"I hardly think that likely, but in that case, there is no payment to you nor will there be a transfer of ownership by the terms of the contract. I think you are a man who will make sure that the conditions of both addendums are met."

"When do we leave?"

"As soon as we can get a crew and get the ship properly outfitted and loaded. I would like to be in the Sandwich Islands in September."

"Well, then we better head down to the docks to find the men we need. I have a couple in mind, and for the rest we shall have to look to see who is available. With the wages you're paying, we should be able to have a full crew in a couple of days."

The captain was correct. The ship was fully crewed by the end of the week. The repairs were made and provisions were stored away. Dock workers were hired to haul the trade goods from the warehouse to the ship where they were stowed away by the crew who knew how to balance the load. The plan then was to set sail on Monday. Adam contacted Hop Sing to tell him to have his luggage and be ready to board the ship on Monday morning as the sun rose. They would ride the high tide.

Joe had convinced Ben to travel to San Francisco to send off his eldest son and his long time friend. Unfortunately they were delayed by bad weather and arrived in San Francisco on Monday morning. There were some problems that Adam had to take care of that morning but nothing serious enough to delay the ship's departure by more than a couple of hours. The ship sailed away from the docks just as Ben and Joe arrived there. Ben's heart sank because he did want his son to know he wished him godspeed and would pray for his safe return. As the ship turned toward the Pacific, a tall figure standing at the bow of the ship took off his hat and raised it in salute before waving it three times over his head. Adam had seen his father and knew the significance of his presence. Each man stood with a small smile even as tears rolled down their cheeks.

"May God grant them calm waters and a wind at their backs."

"Pa, they'll be fine."

"Joe, those storms that delayed us blew in off the ocean. There are storms out there, and I fear for their safety."

Looking out at the gray clouds building to the west over the ocean, Joe had the same concern. But he knew that Adam had gotten the best ship, ship's captain, and crew that he could. He had to hope that it was enough. Joe could tell by his father's demeanor though that he would worry regardless because more than anyone, he was familiar with what the sea could take.

Chapter 13

In less than a day, Adam and Hop Sing were worried about their ship. As soon as they had left San Francisco Bay, the waters had turned rough. Each hour they seemed worse. For three days, they slogged through towering waves. Hop Sing was sick most of the time and stayed in his stateroom where he was miserable. Adam offered to help on deck and found that all the men were lashed to something solid. He helped the helmsman hold the wheel trying to keep the ship on the headings the captain called out. There was little sleep until the fourth day when the wind calmed a little. Hot meals were made for the first time since leaving port. Men who could be spared were sent to their bunks to sleep eight hours and then were expected back on deck to relieve the others so they could sleep.

"Mr. Cartwright, you bought us a fine ship. She handled those waves as well as any could, but if we get any worse weather, we may need to stay in the Sandwich Islands for a time so that I can check for any damages and have the caulking checked. We risk typhoons west of the Islands, and even though we can head north to escape the worst of them, the ship needs to be in top-notch shape."

"Captain, we will do what you advise. If that is what needs to be done, we will do it."

"Sir, you do not seem the merchant type. I have sailed merchant ships my whole career, and the owners invariably skimp on repair time in order to maximize profits."

"There will be no profit if this ship sinks, and I am more concerned with reaching our destination and returning home than I am in maximizing profits. There will always be another voyage to take, but I only have this one life."

"Very good, sir. We are in agreement. You should probably sleep as I think we may face another of these storms before we reach the Islands as it seems a pattern has developed. Good day to you, sir."

The captain's words were prophetic. There were three times as many stormy days as calm ones in the voyage from San Francisco to the Sandwich Islands. They were blown well off course a number of times and had to sail south to reach the Islands. Once they could see land, the whole crew was relieved. It had been hard work. Adam felt like he had worked a six week cattle drive in two weeks. Hop Sing remained in his cabin most of the time fighting the nausea that plagued him. Grateful to be alive and to have his ship relatively undamaged, Adam consulted with the captain as they neared the harbor.

"The men have worked hard and done all that you asked. What would be the proper reward for that and when should it be given?"

"As we work on repairs, it would be customary in the evenings to provide some liquid refreshment for the men. Not too much as they must work the next day."

"Will you see to that, please? I wish to see some of the Island while we are here. Once the cargo has been offloaded and sold, what would be the best way to see the Island?"

"The best way would be to hire a guide. There are a number of natives suitable for that job. I would ask the priests who work with the people here. Don't ask any of the businessmen with whom you negotiate. Too many of them are ruthless men and have questionable ethics. They might put you into dire circumstances in order to gain your cargo at little expense to themselves."

"I will keep that in mind, Captain. Now could you direct me to where I need to go to begin selling our cargo here?"

The captain was more than willing to do that. Adam had impressed him so far with his willingness to work and his effort to be fair, but the captain wondered just how good he was at negotiating. The captain need not have feared. With his work for his grandfather and then the experience working with his father and then on his own gave Adam a good background for bargaining. By the end of the first day, he had sold most of their cargo and purchased more for the trip to China. What they didn't sell here, they would take with them to sell there. As Adam was counting the money he had made with the transactions, the captain knocked on his open cabin door.

"Come on in, Captain. You have some money coming to you."

"It is customary to pay the captain when the trip is complete."

"I am not so enamored of tradition that I let it make decisions for me. I have said you would have a ten per cent share of gross profits, and you shall have it. There is your money, and there is a second stack of money there to pay the crew for this part of the trip with extra for celebrations in the evening. I have made arrangements for provisions to be loaded on board when we are ready to set sail. Is there anything else I need to do?"

"No, Mr. Cartwright, you're doing just fine." With a smart salute, the captain left Adam's cabin and went to pay the men knowing that they would also be in a good mood for the rest of the trip by being treated so well. Taking care of the men like this made the captain's job quite a bit easier.

In the cabin, Hop Sing and Adam talked. They were nearly halfway to China now, and the reality of what they were doing was hitting home. Hop Sing was recovering from his sea sickness and wished only to get to China as quickly as possible. There were some minor repairs needed for the ship, and then they would set sail when the winds were favorable and the skies clear.

The next morning, Adam went ashore to see about finding a guide. It didn't take long. The man said it would be easier for them to walk the first day, but that if Adam wanted to see more of the island, they would need to rent horses or a carriage the next day. Adam was happy to walk the first day. They saw the palace of the monarch, the beaches where beautiful colorful fish swam in the shallow waters. The guide told Adam of the volcanoes on the islands, and the black beaches of the big island. Adam was determined to go see those things, but was happy that first day to see the people and how they lived. He did have somewhat of a problem each time they came upon women at the beach for they wore nothing above the waist when they were in the water. For a man who liked to be able to be in control at all times especially of what he showed of himself to others, Adam found it disconcerting that his body could so easily betray him and show what he was thinking. His guide was kind enough not to say anything, but he had heard snickers behind his back on several occasions.

At the end of the day, his guide suggested that they stay on the beach and share in a meal that was being prepared. Adam didn't see a meal being prepared anywhere but agreed as he was intrigued by the idea. He was amazed that as torches were set out and mats laid on the sand, a group of people started digging in the sand and uncovered a large pig that had apparently been roasted. As they removed the sand, they next removed several layers of large leaves which had kept the sand from the meat. As the leaves were removed, the delicious scent of roast pork wafted along the gentle night breezes. Adam was suddenly missing Hoss and wondered if he had forgiven him yet for leaving. Then he felt a hand take his and looked down to see a beautiful young woman who wished to guide him to a seat. He smiled and walked with her.

"Not everyone here speaks English well. Your guide thought that perhaps I could explain some of what is happening and make your stay here more pleasant."

"You have already done that. My name is Adam Cartwright."

"I am Alamea Kailani."

"That is beautiful. Everything here is so beautiful, I wish I did not have to leave. Everyone here is smiling. Is there a reason they are so happy tonight?"

"Yes, they are smiling because of you." At Adam's furrowed brow, Alamea explained more. "Many of the white people here would never come to the beach to sit with us like this and share our meal. They find us primitive for enjoying things like this. The priests will join us on occasion and there are a few others, but you immediately accepted the invitation. That showed great respect for our people, and that is why they smile."

Looking around, Adam smiled back at those near him and nodded in acceptance of their greetings although he didn't understand most of it. Alamea was liking him more and more. She began to explain what was being said to him so he could respond. Then she would translate his words and that brought even more smiles. As food was served, Adam realized how hungry he was. He hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and this food was delicious. As he ate the pork and grease dripped from the juicy meat, he asked about Alamea and found out very little at first. She asked him about his background and what he was doing, and he told her as much as he could in one evening. He did mention that he would like to go see the big island with its volcanoes and black sand beaches, and Alamea said she could get some of the men to take him the next day in an outrigger. He didn't know what that meant but was willing to give it a try. Again his answer brought a smile.

When the meal was completed, Adam looked around for his guide. Alamea asked what he was looking for.

"I'm lost without my guide, and I don't see him. I'm fairly certain I would never find my way back to the ship without help."

"He is with his family. He will guide you back if that is what you wish, or you could stay in my home for the night and then the men will give you a ride to see the big island in the morning."

Looking into those dark eyes shining in the moonlight, Adam knew exactly what he wanted to do at that moment, and it wasn't either of the two choices she had given him. He understood so well how Joe could fall in love so quickly and had done it himself several times, but he didn't fall out of love so quickly which made him hesitant at this point to make his feelings known. Alamea seemed to sense his unease, and quickly worked to soothe that.

"I have three sleeping rooms in my home. My parents and my brother are no longer there. You are welcome to use one of the extra sleeping rooms. There is a small pool near the house where you may bathe in the morning."

"Thank you. I would be most honored to be your guest."

Reaching out a hand, Adam took Alamea's small hand in his rough and calloused hand. It was the first she had touched him since leading him to dinner. She had been so nervous the first time that she had not realized that his hands were not soft and smooth like most merchants but hardened and roughened by real work. Somehow that made him even more manly in her thoughts. She knew she would have a difficult time sleeping this night with him in a room next to hers. She was thinking that perhaps he was the one who would be willing to let her have his child. She began to hope that might be true. When they reached her home, she guided him to a sleeping room and showed him where everything was before she walked quietly through the darkness into her room next to his.

Using the candle Alamea had left with him, Adam explored the room he was to use for sleeping. It was small but very clean and had wide windows which brought in nice cooling breezes. He stripped off his shirt and boots and laid down on the mat where he was soon sleeping soundly and better than he had in a couple of months. In the morning, Alamea softly called his name when it was light and showed him to the pool where he could bathe. When she saw that bare chest, she had wanted very much to touch the hair there. She wondered if it would be soft or bristly. She saw the beard he had grown in just a day and went to get a shaving kit from one of her neighbors with whom she sometimes gave shaves and haircuts to men from the ships in the harbor. When she returned and walked to the pool to give Adam the shaving implements, he was just rising from the pool to get out. She saw him in all of his nakedness, and her desire for him rose but again she said nor did anything except to offer to shave him. He settled back into the water although she had seen the desire for her rise in him. She dropped her clothing and stepped into the pool. As she neared Adam, he watched her intensely but said nothing. She reached out then and put her hand over his eyes.

"You must close your eyes while I shave you. I cannot do this with your eyes burning me like they do."

As Alamea pulled her hand away, she saw his eyes were closed and beautiful long lashes lay along his high cheekbones. She could see too that he was not some pasty white man as she had seen before but had a darker tone to his skin. She rubbed a small amount of lather gently into his beard and felt his body tense next to her. She could not tell if it was fear or desire. As she began to shave him, she could sense he was relaxing with the sensation. She was very careful and took her time for she did not do anything like this often. When she finished, she washed the razor and carefully set it aside. Then she took water in her hands and bathed his face.

"Now you are done. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"I would like to kiss you, but I don't think I could stop with a kiss."

"Then we should get out of the bathing pool and dress. The men await us on the beach. Do you wish me to travel with you to the big island?"

"Oh yes, very much."

"You will not need your boots. Sandals will be provided when you need them."

Once Adam and Alamea reached the beach, there was a large outrigger in the shallow water. They splashed out to it and climbed aboard. One of the men handed an oar to Adam and Alamea explained what he should do. It took some time to get into the rhythm of the men, but once he did, his powerful shoulders helped them go faster. The men began to chant a song, and Adam smiled. This was the kind of experience he had dreamed of having when he left his home. If only there was some way to share this with his family so that they would understand. They spent most of the day on the water.

It took some time but the outrigger was pulled up and they were finally on the beach of the big island. Adam was amazed at the black sand they showed him, but once he had it in his fingers, he knew the origin and composition of it. He asked if there was some way he could bring some back with him and was assured they would take care of that for him. Then they began the trek to the volcano. There was an active eruption going on as lava poured into the sea so they could not get very close, but Adam saw the glowing lava, saw it devouring trees, and then saw it dropping into the ocean creating clouds of steam. At one point, Alamea called to him to come back and quickly. Not knowing why she said it but trusting her, he retreated. She pointed to his woven mat sandals that he then realized were smoking. He had gotten too close to hot lava. He smiled in embarrassment but Alamea said it was not uncommon for people to do that so one must pay attention to one's feet.

By the time Adam and Alamea returned to the beach, the men were roasting fish over an open fire. There was fruit and water in coconut shells. Adam settled into the shade and ate heartily. Alamea sat next to him, and Adam was thinking that life couldn't get much better than this. Once again he asked Alamea about her past and her family, and once again she sidestepped the questions and talked of other things. Adam's curiosity was shifting into high gear with her evasiveness. He wanted to know more about her and wondered what it would take for her to open up to him. The sun was going down then, and sleeping mats were pulled out, and torches were set for light. With the sound of waves lapping at the beach, Adam fell asleep.

The trip back to the island of Oahu and to his ship was without problems but they halted and let Adam marvel at the whales breaching and blowing. They kept a healthy distance away from the whales because they had spotted calves with them and had no desire to anger any of the mothers who could crush their outrigger quite easily even though it was very large. Once they reached the beach, Adam and Alamea headed back to her home where Adam donned his boots and straightened his rumpled clothing to ready himself for returning to the ship. He looked at Alamea, and she looked so sad.

"Alamea, may I come visit you again tomorrow?"

Alamea's whole countenance and demeanor transformed with that question, and Adam knew the answer before she said it. "You would be most welcome to visit me, Adam. I look forward to it."

Thinking perhaps he could kiss her, Adam refrained not wanting to take a chance on ruining this nascent relationship. Instead, Adam smiled, waved, and began his walk back. As he neared the ship, some of the crew noticed him and grinned. As he climbed the gangplank to his ship, the captain came out to greet him.

"So, you went native, did you?"

"Went native?"

"Bedded one of the local women?"

"No, not at all, but I would certainly like to do that. I was at a luau, slept on a grass mat, bathed in a pool, rode in an outrigger to the big island, saw volcanoes, lava, and black sand, then had a picnic on the beach, and am just now getting back. This is a beautiful place and the people here are wonderful."

"Well, be careful. It took me a long time to find a decent, fair man to work for, and I'd hate to lose him now."

"I'll be careful, but there are always risks if you want to try new experiences. Now I need some clean clothing and a quiet restful night."

Adam went to the galley and asked the cook if there was an empty bottle he could use. Once he got that, he used a funnel and poured his coconut shell of black sand into the bottle. He took that to his cabin and stashed that and the shards of lava he had gotten into a trunk he was using for souvenirs. Then instead of dressing in clean clothing, Adam slid into his cool sheets with nary a stitch of clothing on. It was so comfortable to sleep that way so he had been doing it for years. He had clean clothing set out for the next day, but his sleep was anything but restful as visions of a beautiful woman were in his dreams and in his thoughts each time he awakened. In the morning, he was in need of coffee, and the captain noticed that he did not look rested.

"She got under your skin, didn't she?"

"Who?"

"Whoever it was who didn't let you rest easy last night."

At the captain's grin, Adam relaxed.

"It's all right with me. Not that many chances at love in this life, you gotta grab the ones you can. Just be careful out there. Not all the men here are willing to accept a white man moving in on one of their own."

"None of the men seem at all concerned, and were quite happy to transport us to the big island yesterday. They're all very friendly to me."

"Is it Alamea?"

Surprised and a little leery as to how the captain had discerned that, Adam nodded.

"She has approached other men who have made port here. None have been to her liking ultimately. She's related to the royal family, except her father was one of the sailors who came through here and forced her mother. You must have noticed she's a bit lighter than the others. The people will do as she asks because of her royal blood, and with her background, they're probably happy she has chosen you instead of pursuing one of them. Her native father died of leprosy, and her mother and brother were sent to Molokai."

"What's on Molokai?"

"The only thing on Molokai is a leper colony. The priests here help out, and it's said that one of them may be sent there permanently. The government here made a law to send everyone with leprosy to Molokai. There's no port as such, so they throw them and their provisions off the ship sometimes. No one is allowed to visit there except the priests, and no one is allowed to leave."

"But Alamea is well. She has no signs of disease."

"For now, but she's still very young. She's also half white so maybe she won't get it. None of the men here want to marry her though for they think she will have leprosy and give it to them too. If not for her family connection through her mother, she would probably be on Molokai already."

"Do I need to worry?"

"Probably not. I don't know of any white man here who has leprosy. I suppose it could happen if you were around it a lot, but it seems white men are just not so prone to it."

Sobered by what he had learned, Adam walked slowly back to Alamea's home. When he got there, she could see he was bothered and thought she probably knew why.

"You don't have to be with me. Have you heard my sad tale?"

"Yes, the ship's captain has sailed these waters extensively. He knew your story."

"That is why I did not wish to lay with you. I wanted you to know before we reached that question. I would have taken you to me the first night otherwise. I could see that you wanted to do that. But I wanted you to know me and to know my story. You can leave in good conscience. I know that men do not wish to be too close to me."

"But I do. I want to be with you. You're half white. Maybe that means you won't get it."

"I do want to be with you too, but you have to be sure it is the right decision. I want to have a child, and the man I am with has to know that. Would you want to make a child within me, Adam Cartwright? I will not lay with a man who cannot make a commitment to me. Can you do that, Adam? Can you say that you love me and only me?"

Reaching for Alamea, Adam pulled her into an embrace and gently pressed his lips to hers. He felt her tremble in his grasp, but she did not pull away. He let his tongue caress her lips and then gently nudged them apart as his tongue slid into her mouth. He moved his tongue to the roof of her mouth and the touched the tip of her tongue again before withdrawing. Her tongue tentatively followed his, and they kissed that way for quite a while with their bodies pressed together. Adam's hands caressed her back and held her close to him. After a while, she placed her small hands on his chest to push him away from her a little. She took his hand and turned to walk to her sleeping room. Adam grinned and willingly followed her. In that room, he began to undress her. He had seen her before without clothing but this was so different. In the bathing pool, he had worked to control himself and fought his reaction to her. Now he touched, caressed, and kissed every part of her smooth body as it was revealed to him. As they joined together, Alamea gasped with pain, and Adam paused.

"No, please, I will be fine. You are the first man for me, and I was told it would hurt and then be gone."

After their lovemaking, Adam held Alamea close to him and said the words he had so seldom ever spoken. "I love you, Alamea Kailani. I wish to marry you and take you with me."

"Adam, I do love you. I had searched for love for so long, and thought that it was something that took many months, but with you, it was like a volcano erupting. The heat of you burns within me. I see you in my dreams, and think of you when you are not here."

"Will you come with me then?"

"The men will not like it. Sailors believe a woman on board is bad luck. You are coming back this way. I could wait for you here, and then go with you to your country or wherever you are going."

"If that is your wish, then that is my command. Until then, I want to be with you as much as I can. We sail in a week if all goes well. I should be back here in less than six months after that. Can we marry before I go?"

A cloud passed over Alamea's features then. Adam knew something was wrong. "What is it? Why do you look so sad now?"

"We cannot marry here. My people and your people would not approve."

"Well I can get the ship's captain to marry us."

"That will only be recognized if we are at sea. Adam, we must wait. When you return, and I leave with you, we can marry. I am so sorry that it is that way."

"It seems no matter where I go, the color of a person matters more than the heart, mind, and soul of that person. It makes me sad, but it is too much for me to change by myself."

Rolling on his side and resting on his elbow, Adam took Alamea's hand in his. "Do you, before God, Alamea Kailani take me Adam Cartwright to be your husband to love always and only and to have and to hold in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live?"

Alamea smiled but realized that Adam was serious so she answered. "I do. And do you, before God, Adam Cartwright take me Alamea Kailani to be your wife to love always and forever as long as we both shall live?"

"I do. And now we are married as much as any two people who love each other can be. We will get to know one another, and we shall make plans for our life together. It may seem that we only have a week right now, but we have a lifetime. I love you, and I want to learn all there is to know about you. Please tell me your story now."


End file.
